Homosexual Orientation
Can It Be Changed?

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Direct evidence for therapeutic change of sexual orientation
By N.E.Whitehead, Ph.D., M.N.Z.I.C
(Click on the title above for the full article.)
© 1995 This document may be freely copied for non commercial purposes.

       A fair summary of the historical mainstream psychiatric view is that considerable change in orientation is possible, particularly under therapy; one of the most standard modern texts says "every study ever performed on conversion from homosexual to heterosexual orientation has produced some successes" Under therapy, change occurs "at least as frequently in homosexual persons as in people afflicted by any other personality disorder." There is a substantial literature on the subject summarized elsewhere and the few therapists who have failed to produce such changes in their clients do not negate the large bulk of previous work by other therapists.
       Many of the changes were followed up for more than a decade and had persisted. In the last 20 years, various amateur therapy groups have formed which bear a strong resemblance to Alcoholics Anonymous, and help with sexual orientation change (not just to celibacy). The change usually demands as much help as an alcoholic requires, similarly takes a few years, and relies on the help of a specific higher power - God the Father - repair of poor family relationships, making a break with the previous lifestyle, acceptance by same-sex peers, teaching on techniques to break the addictive cycle, and accountability to the group, or a counsellor. The results numerically seem rather similar to those of Alcoholics Anonymous. Most who stay with the groups for a few years achieve for the first time genuine attraction to the opposite sex, and a very large or complete cessation of attraction to the same sex. Occasionally this may come very simply from strong same-sex non-erotic acceptance. Their overall well-being becomes high. Many eventually marry very happily.
       Observation of such groups for a few years makes it undeniable and obvious that real change is possible, though difficult. Rather like alcoholics however, many who have changed want to get on with their new life, and fade into anonymity, being rather ashamed to talk about what they once were. Those few who stand up in public and testify to the change are just a small minority. The umbrella group, Exodus International has about 150 groups affiliated worldwide. Thousands of individuals have achieved very significant change of sexual orientation. Other similar groups exist outside this umbrella. Similar groups exist for those who are caught up in various heterosexual behaviours for which they want help, but the numbers internationally appear proportionately far smaller than the groups for homosexuals, which argues a strong imbalance -- the number needing help with heterosexual problems is far larger and there should be more groups for them, but in general homosexuals are far more aware of problems.
        A common feature of these groups, and the experience of therapists, is that many features of sexuality, heterosexual or homosexual, are rather compulsive. This is seen most vividly in the behaviour of those who continue to have unprotected sex, even though knowing themselves HIV+ (this percentage may be as high as 40%). Change of behaviour, character and desire are possible; they are not fixed, fated, or determined. This is entirely what would be predicted from the previous pages and there are very many books on the subject which contain abundant evidence and numerous testimonies.
       There is thus another solution to the problem of the married homosexual, besides acquiescence to the unpleasant alternatives of unfaithfulness or divorce - change of orientation. However those whose behaviour comes to light often cannot see why they should even attempt to change. They seem to think they should be allowed all the benefits of family life while continuing homosexual sex as well. Unless they are strongly motivated, referral to counsellors or support groups usually proves futile, but the church can at least offer that option, and the chance of success is best if there are available the testimonies of those who have made the change.

(Non-Religious) - People Can Change is a group men who have changed their sexual orientation. People Can Change is a non-profit educational, outreach and support organization of men who have successfully transitioned out of unwanted homosexual attractions and increased their heterosexual identify, feelings and behaviors.

Special Thanks to:

Science and Sexuality
By N.E.Whitehead, Ph.D., M.N.Z.I.C
A submission to the Anglican Commission on Sex and Gender Issues

July 1995
N. & B. Whitehead,
54 Redvers Drive, Belmont,
Lower Hutt, New Zealand.
Fax (4) 5650263, email whiteh@central.co.nz

SEXUALITY: Homosexual
GENDER:
TITLE: Dave W

Why should I want to be straight? I am happy as I am. Dave W

Editor's Note: Good point Dave. I agree with you, but I don't get the impression that the article on sexual orientation above suggests that everyone should change. The thing is, some people don't like their sexual preference no matter how much they try to accept it or get used to it. They try counseling, talking to friends, psychiatrists, etc., and they still cannot accept it -- or they find out it is causing problems in their life because it is overwhelming them. The same could be true for drinking alcohol (for example, beer). Lots of people drink beer and like it and it never bothers them. Why should they quit? Beer is just the beverage they happen to like! Then there are people who find themselves drinking beer because they can't find any other way to deal with their issues. They may not be able to quit when they want to quit so they need to get help. The same principles may be able to be applied to an unwanted and overwhelming sexual desire. Also, I really don't think this article is suggesting everyone can be straight just by reading the article.

SEXUALITY: Homosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Totally Gay

The question over whether or not someone can change their sexual orientation stems only from the confusion of innate bisexuality. I am 44, and have always been 100% gay. It took me until my late 20's to realize I wasn't going to change and I should stop wasting time listening to other peoples opinions. When I hear someone use the term "choosing to be gay", it tells me that they are latently bisexual to some degree - why else would they use the word "choose"? Only bisexuals can choose to live a gay or straight "lifestyle". Of course, "gay lifestyle" is a term I'm not too fond of, because it seems to suggest that my life is nothing but a temporary hedonistic diversion from reality.

SEXUALITY: Gay
GENDER: Male
TITLE: skip

I believe the above article harmful and should be taken down. Our sexualities cannot be changed, a 100% percent straight or gay will remain just that - 100% - where you can see some movement would be in the bisexual person - he has an attraction to both genders to some degree - so I suppose if he wants to be "straight" he would repress all of his gay thoughts that come, by-the-way not, from his real time creation - they will fly through his head the rest of his life, he can only supress or not act on them. a 100% gay person who does not want to be gay needs help in accepting that he is gay, and surround himself with people that will accept him. Otherwise he will be emotionally disturbed for the rest of his life. The above article contributes to the suppression of gay people - please become inlightened and remove it. A much better title for this article would be: How a bisexual can control his unwanted thoughts.

Editor's Notes: The article has not been determined to be "harmful". And as you can see, commentary questioning or condemning the validity and usefulness of the article is published here freely. In addition to that, some people's sexuality can change throughout their life. If sexual preferences are the way you claim they are, people would never be able to get over a "crush" or a "lustful desire" of any kind. If people are capable of changing some parts of their sex drive, who's to say that some people can not change other aspects as well? Are you still in love with all the boys you thought you liked in junior high school? Probably not. Your sexuality has actually changed and you've actually changed your preferences as to what types of men you like over time. If this is feasible and very likely, who is to say that someone else can not or would not change preferences along the lines of which gender they prefer? 

Just because some people love being gay doesn't mean that every homosexual has to live up to the arrogant standards of the gay community. There are also people who might not be able to change their homosexuality, but they don't have to like it either. Also, what about the people who are gay but they are not very good at being gay? Unfortunately, many of their gay peers tell them to "practice, practice, practice" and then they end up with an STD or else hating themselves for falling into a stereotypical homosexual promiscuous lifestyle. 

SEXUALITY: Homosexual
GENDER: Female
TITLE: Choices

Think about the first time you realised that you were gay. It's a big life changing moment, and not something to be taken lightly. You would have had to think about what your friends and family will think, whether they will ostracise you, whether everything will remain the same. And if you have come out and accepted yourself as a homosexual, then that is your choice. But is it so hard to imagine someone, dealing with the same issue, and deciding that they do not wish to deal with the possible problems that come as a consequence of accepting their homosexuality. That is why these therapy groups exist, to provide hope, a possibility to change. And I believe that change is possible because it seems absurd to say that you love someone because of their gender. You love someone because of who they are, perhaps sex does play some part in determining their personality, but it is not the main factor. It is fine that some people are happy with their homosexual preference, but I think we have to acknowledge that not all people can accept this. Maybe this in part is due to how society operates, and the fear of being alienated from friends and family. Perhaps if there were no homophobia in society, if there was a guarantee that a gay couple will not be the recipient of the weird *disgusted* looks as they walk down the street, if their families and friends were open and accepted them for who they are, if their religion does not condemn them to hell. Perhaps if the world could change, then there would be no need to change ones homosexual orientation. But until that day comes when society is perfect, people will continue to try and change their sexual orientation, and therapy groups will exist to facilitate this need.

SEXUALITY: Homosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Totally Gay2

Therapy groups only give false hope if they are trying to change someone's orientation. If they truly want to help, they need to help the gay person accept themselves for being who they are and not try to succumb to society's ignorance. I wasted so many years thinking there must be a way to change. I thought, if society seems so negative toward homosexuality, someone must have the answer. Then I found people who woke me up to reality. I realized that my homosexuality was rock solid - I was 100% gay and nothing could change that - and all the negativity towards it was based on fear and ignorance. Why should anyone change for other peoples fear and ignorance?

SEXUALITY: Gay
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Choice vs Freedom

Really the question should be are we forced to take on the beliefs of the moral christian socity? or be the person that GOD created. If the leaders of all the major religious organizations would remember one thing, who are we to judge anyone....that's GODs job. He is the created of heaven and earth I believe, and hold him very close to me everyday of my life. I am a gay male, who believes that my belief in GOD extends far outside the church walls, were it should be. I have heard the words of the christian leaders. Their tongues are razors -- not the word of GOD as I know it to be. Find a good bible based church, who welcomes you and your partner in life for who you are, and experience the wonderful life together. It's worth it!

Editor's Notes: I think it's interesting you put it that way. It reminds me of something I heard the other day from a Christian minister. Regarding the group that calls itself  "The Moral Majority", he said, "The Christian Moral Majority is neither moral nor the majority... and not very Christian-like either." He went on to say a few more lines about how Jesus would not have turned his back on homosexuals and would not have condemned them.

I think that your sexuality is internalised at a young age - forming upon the basis of society's attitudes, norms and values.

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