CONFIDENTIAL HOMOSEXUALITY
ARCHIVE NUMBER 4
gay Experiences
In an effort to publish a text on homosexuality in modern society, this page is intended for an academic sociological collection of experiences and opinions regarding homosexuality. This is NOT intended to be a place to post ads or to express lewd erotica.

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A straight guy seduced by a straight penis

I am a straight guy in a straight relationship. I never have looked at other men and I still don't. However, I recently realized that I am attracted to nicely shaped male genitals. This is how it happened. My girlfriend and I had invited a male friend of mine. After dinner we started to watch a movie. I was sitting on a chair my girlfriend next to my friend on the couch. The room was pretty dark. I went to the bathroom and when I came back I noticed that my friend had a newspaper on his lap. Thinking this was odd in a dark room I secretly kept an eye on it when I noticed that my girlfriend apparently had her hands in his pants under the newspaper. I was getting angry but aroused at the same time. I got up when my girlfriend noticed my erection. She told me to come over to the couch and stand next to her. With a comment she unzipped my pants took out my penis and started to massage it. At the same time she threw the newspaper off my friends lap displaying a large, totally straight penis with a perfect head glistening with pre-seminal fluid. She started to masturbate both of us with each hand. She told my friend to stand up too pulling us together by our members. Suddenly she started to rub the heads of our members against each other taking an occasional lick. She giggled and pulled my rather large foreskin over the head of my friend uncircumsized penis. I felt so embarrassed that I lost my erection. She laughed at me and pulled my friend by his still totally erect penis into our bedroom. I felt embarrassed but aroused at the same time. When I finally followed them into our bedroom I saw him licking my girlfriends breasts and vagina. I just could not take my eyes off his penis. It stood straight up against his stomach, perfectly smooth, the head perfectly round, ready to burst. I sat down on the bed, grabbed his penis and started to massage it. I looked at me in surprise but started to moan. I became so excited I took his penis in my mouth licking his head with my tongue. He almost came instantly. I choked on his semen, ran to the bathroom. It was pretty disgusting. He and my girlfriend had sex and then he left. We never talked about it except that my girlfriend once in while calls me a closet gay. I have to admit I have started to look at Playgirl magazine on the newsstand to find that perfect penis again.

Once was not enough

I've been going to my gym so long they let old timers like us come and go as we please as long as we remember to lock up. The other night I thought everyone had left and after my work out I stripped and decided to take a steam. There's a window you can see thru and before I go in I always look. I saw this guy sitting on the third level, meaning his knees would be about chest level. He was totally nude but had a towel draped over his crotch and I could see that under the towel he was moving his hand back and fourth on his penis. That kinda of turned me on so I entered. As I stepped up to go inside there was another guy standing on the third level beside the door. He was also nude and since he was standing up, I realized he must have been masturbating his penis for the other guy's benefit. Even more interesting was that his erection pointed straight out of his blond pubic hair right at my face. I took just a moment to register this and admire his testicles, which in the heat, were hanging way low. As a joke and to lighten this awkward moment, I grasped his erection with my hand and said, " thanks for helping me up." As I stood there, I didn't let go of his penis, I just kind of moved it around to point at the other guy and shook it a little to make it look like it was talking and said, " Ok mister, you need to bring your Mr. happy over here so I can make introductions all around. I was a lot taller than both of them and when the other guy came over, I noticed that my penis, which was beginning to stand up too, was a lot bigger than theirs. They told me they liked to meet late at night and just kind of play with each other. So I said, Play. The older of the two pushed his friend down to lie on the bench to where he had on leg leaning up against the wall, and the other hanging off the bench, thus spreading his penis and testicles wide open. I grasped my on stiff penis and watched as he knelt down on the lower bench and took his friends penis in his mouth in one smooth, practiced motion. The man began to jerk his hips to drive his penis in and out of his friends mouth. I stood up and moved behind the fellow that was performing oral sex and reached between his legs to play with his penis and balls. By this time, they were both moaning and I could tell they were nearing a climax. I asked them both if they would let me see them ejaculate since it really turns me on to see spurting penises. The guy on his back stood up on the bench facing me and so I asked the other to copy his friend. This way they were both standing side by side with their erections pointing at me. I took their erections in both of my hands and begin to masturbate them. Back and fourth. It was hard to concentrate because they both wanted my attention. I leaned in closer like I was going to suck one's penis and he arched his back and begin to spurt his semen against my chest. I kept jerking him but aimed down so it wouldn't hit me in the face, but the other guy who had one hand on his friend's balls and the other jerking his own _____ let loose with a mighty squirt that arched up in the air and landed on top of my head. I was so amazed that I didn't turn away as he continued to squirt his sperm, so leaned my head over and turned my cheek to lay against his spurting penis. It really turned me on to feel his sticky sperm squirting against my cheek and I could feel his penis pulsating with each spurt. It felt so hot and out of the corner of my eye, I could see white spurts shooting up and out onto the side of my face. This was a sign for the other guy who was really almost through with his ejaculation to rub his still very wet, dripping penis against my other cheek. While I stood there, with two peniss rubbing against my face, I jerked on myself. I asked them if I could cum on them and they said yes. So they sat down and I stood over them and jerked my penis as to aim it at their chests. I knew I was so excited that it would be a hard ejaculation for me and that I would probably get them in the faces too. One of them reached up and encircled my testicles with his hand and just kind of jiggled them for me. the other guy made the mistake of leaning up close enough to wrap his hand around my penis and take the duty over of finishing me off. I felt the wonderful first waves of cum riding up from deep in my balls and told them here it cums. Sure enough, I squirted a great stream of sperm into the fellow's face that was jerking me off. I watched as it rolled off his face and hung in a long ropy, milky strand as he aimed it at his friend, who just laid there and let me rain down on him. Afterwards, we took showers and now have other action there.

Color of Hate.

I am young and I am gay. Because of this and the fact that I am female-- I AM DIFFERENT. Recently people at school found out about my " sexual preference" and things have not been the same since. I am a musician and I march in band. Because I am " different" from my fellow band members I was asked not to come back and march. This year is my last year in high school, I've waited 3 years for a solo-- a chance to show case my musical skills-- and because I love a woman instead of a man I had my solo taken away. I am a natural born leader but because of my " disgusting" life style I was told I was "unfit" to lead my french horn section.

So in the end I had one of the most important things taken away from me for being " different". the truth is I'm not as different as people think. I don't live at home anymore, I live with my girlfriend-- I work, go to school, and have fun like any other person would do-- I just happen to be gay. Because i'm gay I have to question my self worth every morning, If I speak my mind then I'm stepping over the line, If I stand up for what I believe in then I'm flaunting, And if I march with pride I want to recruit little kids to be gay just like me. Our world is a very sad place to live in. And because hate is sanctioned in our society people like me have to always fight just to stay alive.

MEXICAN SUCKER

I've always wondered why gay guys like to fellate other guys so much. What is it about a penis that is so irresistible? Every gay guy I talk to loves to do it. I'm the same way, I've fellated lots of guys, almost all of them straight, and they seem to enjoy getting it as much as I enjoy giving it. I was real young when I did it the first time: My father hired this Mexican boy to help do yard work on Saturdays. He was about 16 and I was 14. He didn't speak any English at all but we communicated with gestures. He worked with his shirt off and he was so cute it caused strange sensations in me. I was fascinated with him and looked for any excuse to get close to him. One time he went behind some bushes and I realized he was urinating. I suddenly had a tremendous desire to see his penis. I went into the house and made a whole bunch of lemonade and took it out to him. Then I went and hid in this hollow place in the bushes and waited. Finally he came over and opened up his pants and took it out. It was even darker than the rest of his skin, almost black. I had a perfect view as it was at my eye level and only a couple of feet away. I had never seen an uncut penis up close before and I was fascinated. He pulled back his foreskin and exposed a glans like mine but bigger and dark red-brown in color. Then he started peeing out the lemonade and it was splattering on me but I couldn't move away. I was so excited that my erection was hurting in my pants and I shifted my weight so that I could adjust it and when I moved I snapped a twig and he looked into the bushes and saw me! Then he stepped over to the opening in the bushes that I had crawled into and I was trapped with him right in front of me! He asked me something in Spanish and when I didn't understand he touched my lips with his finger and then his penis. I understood. My heart was racing, I was scared as if I were in a fight in school. I just looked at it, right in front of my face. It smelled of sweat, urine and man. He held it up with one hand, and with the other behind my head, pulled me toward it and I opened my lips and let it in. Then he started peeing again and his urine filled my mouth and leaked out, wetting my shirt and pants. When he stopped peeing I thought it was all over and tried to pull back but he held me and soon I felt his penis swelling in my mouth and I had to open up wide to avoid biting him. At this point, instinct took over, that's the only way I can explain it, because I had never even thought about doing something like this. I started sucking it and going up and down on it and pretty soon I had a mouthful of young Mexican semen. He then pulled out, put his still-hard penis back in his jeans, grinned at me and went back to work. I stayed in the bushes for a while, using some of his cream to lubricate my own little penis, swallowed the rest, and enjoyed the best orgasm of my life. I'll tell a Chapter 2 of me and that Mexican boy if anybody shows any interest in reading it. Meanwhile, maybe someone could explain to me why I like to do this. Also, since I always swallow the semen, what kind of risk I'm running (I've heard you don't get AIDS that way but I'm not sure its true). I can't help it. I love semen, especially from a young Mexican.

met online

I met this guy online. We talked about sex. He said he was bi-sexual. He asked me if I was. I said I didn't know but did get aroused when I saw penis's in porno films.We exchanged e-mails a few times and decided that we would meet at a secluded park up the river. I was very excited about the thought of touching an other's penis. We met and talked awhile in his truck. Finally I blurted out" Let's see what you got" He pulled down his pants and there was an already firm _____. It was smaller than mine but rock hard. We st there rubbing each others dicks.I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out a condom and handed it to him. He put it on. I immediately was giving had like a pro. After 15 years of marriage I knew how to do it.He asked if I wanted to see him shoot on his belly. I just kept sucking and stroking. I could see massive wads of come shooting in the rubber. He was moaning loudly.When he finished he leaned over and went down on me WOW! How erotic. In no time at all I came and was moaning too. Afterward we cleaned up wit paper towels from behind the seats in his truck. We haven't met since because he feels guilty about having sex with another man. Me I am looking for another special friend!

first time

the first time I had sex with a man,was when I was 20 years old.a friend of mine came over to my apartment one night drunk,we talked for a while and he sat next to me nd put his hand on my penis I was very hard and he unzipped my pants and started to suck me,i never had a blow job before and it felt wonderful,we went to my bed room and got naked and got on the bed,his penis was very long about 81/2 inches long and very big around we got into a 69 and started to suck each other off I have never had a penis in my mouth before it was so smooth and tasted good.his pre-come was salty. he was very good at sucking and I was almost ready to come,he said he wanted me to put my penis in his asshole I got some baby oil from the bathroom and put it all over my penis.i was slicked up real good so I got on my knees and parted his but crack and put some oil on his ass,then I started to put my penis into his asshole it slipped in easy,god it felt so good,i almost came right then,i started to pump in and out my friend was moaning and pushing back every time thrust forward.on the sixth or seventh thrust I came,i have never had an orgasm as intense as that was,i pulled out just as I came and squirted cum all over his back.he turned over and said it was his turn,so I got on my hands and knees and told him to be careful because he was so big that it would hurt bad,he put baby oil on his penis and his fingers,he put two fingers into my ass to get me used to it and then he put another then he pushed them in and out,the feeling was so intense I was moaning and he pulled his fingers out and started to put his penis into my butt,god it hurt but he slowly worked it in,it took a long time but he got all of it in,he started to push into me hard, he almost knocked me down.he pounded me till I felt him cum in my asshole.i will never forget that feeling when he pulled out of me,cum was dripping all over my balls and sheets.he turned me over and started to suck me again till I came,we have done this four more times in the six years we have known each other.

At school

I am 14, a couple of weeks ago my friend asked if he could borrow some money to spend at the school canteen. I told him no and he jokingly said I will masturbate you if you want. He always joked about sex and masturbation we talked about it all the time. I replied by saying would you seriously Jacked me off when he said yes. I told him lets go. As we walked to the toilets I could feel be boner in my pants. When we got to the toilet nobody was in there he locked the door behind us. I dropped my pants and started to masturbate myself while he went to the toilet and washed his hands. When he came out he saw my erect penis, he had seen it before but this was the first time it was erect. I had wanted another person to masturbate me for a long time but I wondered if a guy doing it would make me gay? We were both nervous and he quickly touched my erect circumcised penis. I told him to do it again for longer this he grabbed my penis with his big hand and he slowly began to move his hand up and down it was the best feeling ever unfortunately the bell sounded and we had to got to class but I will never forget that day.

My First Experience

My first experience was with another boy. I was staying with my mother, who had separated from my father when I was quite young. I was about eight and I remember it being a Sunday afternoon, with absolutely nothing to do, I was roaming around the house. My cousin came home from a friend's house and discovered that, besides myself, the house was unoccupied. He was about twelve, and I remember vividly that he was dressed in a pair of sports shorts, a muscle shirt that was very, very white, and had a bowl hair cut. We never talked very much but when we did he was usually aloof and seemed very bored to be around me. However, this day, he seemed interested in hearing what I had to say, and then, miracle of miracles, he invited me into his room! This had never happened before so I took the opportunity. He closed the door behind us, and as I sat on his bed he began to undress, apparently with the intention of changing into other clothes. However, he stripped completely down and sat down next to me. I remember his penis being very large and intimidating, but beautiful, too, the way the light reflected off it's head, the way it twitched and the perfection of his balls. He seemed very interested in me all of the sudden, and without warning placed his right hand between my legs. He rubbed very slowly, enticing a painful yet powerful erection. He asked me to lay back as he undid my trousers and pulled them and my underwear down around my ankles. Then, slowly, he climbed on top of me and rubbed his penis against mine. It was a sensation I was utterly unprepared for but accepted without complaint. To this day, it was the most erotic, exotic feeling I have ever had. He rubbed faster and faster, his breath coming in spurts, until I felt a warm, gushy liquid pour over my genitals. He explained me as I stared down at the whitish substance that he had "came", something I had never seen before. My initial shock and disgust was replaced by a curiosity I still cannot explain as I ran a fingertip through his semen and then, god help me, tasted it. I love the taste of semen now, and have learned that it is actually good for you in many ways. After this, we did it a few other times, trying new positions. One day we tried the '69 and he shot into my mouth. I let him do it only once, but the taste was unbelievable. He tried anal sex on me, and then brought a friend over and we had a threesome. When the summer ended, alas, he discovered his interests lay in girls, but once in a great, great while he would come into my room at night and we would play around. I'll never forget those wonderful experiences and I always suffer a deep nostalgia when I think about those long summer days of my youth. I am since grown up now, have a wife with a baby on the way. It is going to be a boy, and I hope he is happy and content in life, and that someday he might have an opportunity to explore his sexuality, be it straight or otherwise (I could never be judgmental, whatever path he chooses).

Late night at the gym

I belong to a gym that has separate saunas steam rooms and spas for men and women. No one on the men's side ever wears anything into these facilities. We hang our towels at he first door and go into one or the other of them (separate doors) One night after a late meeting at the office I went in to work out. By the time I had made it through my routine, it was midnight. I figured a nice soak in the spa before going home to bed would be nice. My wife wasn't going to be worried because she was out of town on business. As I entered, I was surprised to see another guy because it was so late. I was very surprised to see him obviously poised in front of a jet that was either hitting his ass or his balls between his legs. He just smiled and closed his eyes to enjoy. I almost left, except for the absolute look of pleasure on his face. I slipped into the water across from him with a jet lightly massaging my back. He had been holding onto the side of the spa with both hands so he could lift himself just enough to get ass and jet aligned and to keep his feet from slipping off the bench. When he let go with one hand so he could pinch his right nipple while working his ass up and down slowly in front of the jet, my _____ went to full alert. Before I had time to think about it, my feet had replaced my ass on the bench and my ass was working slowly up the wall to my own jet. I found it and immediately knew why he was there. I had years of experience playing with my ass while masturbating, but nothing like this. I tried to let go with one hand to be able to play with my nipple, but without the practice he obviously had in balancing, I fell away from the jet and into the open area of the spa. When I got control of my body, I saw him looking at me and smiling. I worked my way back up on the bench and into position. Both of us stared at each other with jets massaging our asses. He let go with his other hand and slid across the water to me. Before I knew it, he was suckling my right nipple, looking up at my surprised expression. He smiled and closed his eyes. Next thing I knew he had his hand on my _____. I looked down past his contented smile on my nipple to see him working both our peniss. I closed my eyes and went back to a gentle up and down motion, moving my ass in and out of the jet stream. We came together with our _____ heads just above the water line. I finally realized what an expert he really was. It isn't easy, but I find a way to get to the gym late at night at least once a week.

Second cousins

I am so glad Jim was a second cousin, not a first. The first time he kissed me was exquisite. I have no idea why my parents felt the need to have this "kissing cousin" baby sit me. I was 12 and he was only 15. He arrived just after dinner on a Friday night and after my parents went through the rules, they were out the door to a double feature movie. Jim through his backpack on the floor right next to the couch and grabbed the remote. We surfed through early prime time Friday for about a half hour. It was mid summer and hot and of course my parents had the airconditioning off. He complained and then pulled his shirt off. I complained and took mine off too. Another fifteen minutes and he complained again "This is underwear weather" and he pulled his shoes socks and shorts off, throwing them in the pile with our shirts. I agreed and mine joined his. We surfed there in our boxers for several minutes. "I hate Friday night TV, it's for babies." He got no argument from me. "Want to watch a video I brought?" Sure. He took a video out of his back pack and handed it to me. I slipped it in and got the TV and VCR coordinated and was back on the couch. This was no Disney flick. It started out slow, a couple sitting on a couch similar to the one we were on, watching a movie. Then the guy started to inch closer. My cousin said "Heh, lets do what ever they do" and he inched closer to me. The guys arm was around his girlfriend, draped over her shoulder and onto her breast. My cousin had his hand on my 12 year old boy nipple. I liked it. The girlfriend in this flick turned her head and they kissed. My cousin coughed, I turned my head and we were kissing. I was so hot. He must have been watching the slick out of the corner of his eye, because when the couple stopped kissing he did too and said "Let's just watch a little, then turn off the video and do what they have done." He got no argument from me on that one either. The guy sucked her pussy, my cousin sucked my _____; the girl sucked her boyfriends _____, I took my turn. When they got to the guy in the girls vagina, I thought the game was over. My cousin explained that guys do have a "glory hole" and produced KY jelly from his pack. I won't say I enjoyed everything that night, but for the next 18 months whenever my parents talked about going out, I asked for Jim as a babysitter. When they finally decided I was too old for a babysitter, I would wait for them to leave before inviting Jim ejaculate over. I got my turn to play the guy over the next several times together. Then we decided the movie was a waste of time. 15 years later we still are "kissing cousins".

locker room nudity

I think most young male's first sexual experience takes place in the locker room. That is where we first encounter male nudity on a large scale. When I played soccer in high school after school we always showered after practice. These were 16 & 17 year old athletes and all were in excellent shape. I think most were straight but there was always funny business in the locker room. I remember many guys running around nude or only wearing their jock straps and grabbing other boys backsides and penises. There were many guys that had erections while showering and walking around the locker room. There was one kid that I always was attracted to. He was tall with black hair. He was dark skinned (maybe Italian) and he had hair under his arms and around his penis. We were showering next to each other once when I got an erection. He noticed it and seemed to hang out in the shower for a longer time than usual. I was waiting for it to soften before leaving the shower. We ended up alone in the shower room. His penis was a good size even though it stayed soft. I was rock hard but my penis was only about 4 - 5 inches. Realizing we were alone, he started to stroke my penis. I shot a load of cum on the floor as the shower washed it down the drain. He was erect now. I was envious because he was 6 or 7 inches and much thicker. Also, I had much less hair around my penis. His thick hair trailed all the way up to his belly button. He had a real flat stomach and a muscular chest. I went to stroke him but he shook his head and told me to get on my knees. I took him in my mouth and sucked. Just as he came in my mouth (the showers were still running) the coach came in to shower. He was nude and told us get dressed and wait in his office until he was done showering. We were both trembling with anxiety as we waited to see what would happen. He came in and told us that it was OK to experiment with each other's bodies and that it was normal for guys our age, but that we must never do it in a public place or locker room. And that was it.He let us go and never mentioned it again. Unfortunately that was the last encounter. We both eventually started dating girls but I still check out naked guys in the locker room. Anyone else have fond memories of the boys locker room in high school?

Anonymous

I was in the sixth grade when I went to some neighbor's house and found out that they were out of town but my friend was taking care of the house. I went in ( he was 22) and we just started talking. He hen said that he was going swimming and he need trunks or something so went through my neighbor's drawer and found some speedos. He said he was going to try them on and so he did. He came out of the restroom and I could tell that he had a semi erection and hen he said why don't you fit them on and I said that they were obviously too big for me but he insisted so I did. I put them on and then he "noticed" that they had a whole so he said that he wanted to see how big the hole would get. He reached inside the speedos and was trying to find but instead was fiddling with my young dick. I let him because it fit really good and then I said that I was going to change but I kind of embarrassed but he didn't let me close the door so I had to change in front of him. He kept asking me what I was hiding between my legs but I kept pushing my shirt down. Then he put the speedos on and showed me the hole but his head was accidentally sticking out and I was kind of surprised! I then went home and jacked off and spit the most I had ever done in those days.

Anonymous

In the third grade, I got my first wet dream. I never actually understood what it was until I got to the fifth grade. So I got there and the boys' voice started to change something that had happened to me a long time ago. I started to peek through the urinals when my friends where peeing to notice any differences in them but it was only me that ha d grown. So one day, we were going to orchestra when I heard one of my friends say that my other friend did it with the pillow. That night I went home and tried it. I got freaked out in a way because I thought I was peeing in my bed but I noticed that it felt really good and it wasn't a constant feeling, it was only a pump every second. I then realized that I had become a real man. When I would go out with my friends I would never talk about because I was the youngest (11) and the oldest was (17). They said that they did and so I proudly said,"Yes I do it too!" They said that I had an innocent face and it didn't look like I did. I went home that day however that day and masturbated to each and one of them.

Glory Hole

An adult video store is where I was first introduced to the, "Glory Hole". I'd never heard of them but when I went into the booth with a pocket full of quarters, there were big square holes, about eye level, on both sides of where I sat down. From this vantage point, I could look into the adjoining booths and see what the guys were doing. Both, on either side of me, had their penises out, erect and masturbating very slowly. It was exciting to see but I wasn't sure what to do, so I pulled mine out too. One guy stood up and pushed his hard penis through the hole. It was about 7 inches long and circumsized. I wrapped my hand around it and began to slide it back and fourth over it's smooth skin. I could see his testicles hanging below, so I hooked my other hand underneath and pulled them through so I could fondle them as I masterbated him. I even licked under the head of his penis which by this time was leaking clear precum. All around me I could hear the mini-booth videos playing with the sounds of sex. My guy was obviously excited because without warning, he shot a long, glistening strand of pearly white sperm across the booth which I had to dodge so it wouldn't get on my clothes. I kept jerking him back and fourth as he shot a healthy load. As he was beginning to wilt, I looked over to my left and there was a very large, black penis with a pink head sticking straight out and aimed at my head. so I wrapped both hands around his erect penis. It was long and very thick, maybe like the biggest, thickest banana you've ever seen. Never had I seen one this size or this close. I pulled his testicles though the holed and licked them. He smelled very clean and fresh and showed his appreciation of my licking tongue by shoving his erection and nut sack harder through the hole. His penis was so large I had both hands wrapped around it and sill had about two inches of the head of his penis to lick. I licked under the head of his penis with my tongue and let him shove it in my mouth. I licked underneath it all the way down to his nuts, and kept jacking his skin up and down while I worked my way back up. At least he was nice enough to let me know when he was cumming because he said he was going ejaculate. I picked up my drink cup and aimed his throbbing penis inside the cup and jacked his penis harder and watched him spurt streams of heavy white cum inside the empty cup. When I was though, there was another penis sticking out from the vacated hole on my right. This one was rather small, about 5 inches but very thick and uncut. I had a good time with it by pulling the skin over the pink head and then watching it pop back out as I pulled the skin back. It didn't take but a few times and he started hunching against my busy hands to where I picked up my drink cup and jacked him off into the other guy's messy load. He squirted a healthy, thick load. By the time I left, I had half way filled up that large drink cup with many different men's semen and after that, I became a Glory Hole addict.

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