CONFIDENTIAL HOMOSEXUALITY
ARCHIVE NUMBER 13
gay Experiences
Male-Male Sex
In an effort to publish a text on homosexuality in modern society, this page is intended for an academic sociological collection of experiences and opinions regarding homosexuality. This is NOT intended to be a place to post ads or to express lewd erotica.

SexEditorials.com Supports Freedom of Sexuality Speech for a More Aware Society Main Index | Homosexuality Topic Index | Our Mission | Report Violations

You can publish your own entry on the
 Main Page - Confidential Male Homosexuality

THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS BY: I WANT TO DO IT ! ! !

I have never done sex yet with a guy or girl but I masterbate myself a lot and I always start out thinking about naked girls and then shes giving me a BJ and then I imagine shes giving another guy a BJ and Im watching and Im real horney and then the girl turns into me and Im giving the guy the BJ and he cums into my mouth and I cum too. I try not to think about guys when I masturbate myself but they always come into my fantasy and I cant help it and it makes me feel real gilty and Im afraid I might be turning gay and every night I pray that I wont be and maybe this is just a faze. Theres this kid in my gym class who is real nicelooking and sometimes in the lockerroom he is completely naked and it makes me real nervus because Im afraid I might reach out and touch him and everybody will think Im gay. The other day we were skating and I invited him over to my house and in my room we started talking about girls and we got naked and starting to JO and I told him Id give him a BJ if hed give me one and he got mad. He said it would be OK if I did it to him tho but I didnt do it because he might tell. Saturday hes going to spend the night and Im scared I might do it. Maybe I should just go ahead and do it and get it out of my system and I probly wont like it anyway. But maybe I will and Ill get addicted to his cum and turn gay. I want to s__k his d__k so bad it hurts!

THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS BY: marty

Me and my best friend, Steve, were 16. His eleven year old brother,Shawn, and two of his friends who were eleven, Matt and Joe, were with us hangin out at my friends house. My friend Steve left me and the other three alone to go out to get some food. I was watchin tv and the three were in shawns room. I heard them makin sex noises so I was curious as to what they were doin so I peeked my head in the door. My penis got rock hard at the sight that I saw. Shawn was lying on the bed masturbating while joe and matt were naked and buttfucking each other. I got so horny I started to masturbate while watching through the door. They noticed me and suddenly got scared because they didnt want steve to know that they were doin this. I told them not to worry and they noticed I had been masturbating. They asked me if I wanted to join in so I said yes. Joe took off my shorts and pulled my boxers down and started sucking my penis. Matt and Shawn came over and matt stuck his in my rear end while Shawn started rubbing my chest in an erotic way. I busted in joe's mouth and then I returned the favor to joe while matt humped my back and shot a load all over me. Steve came home a little while later and never found out about it. Since then, three more times we've gotten together to do that.

THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS BY: My Journey: Late Bloomer

I find all of the stories of experimentation interesting. I had experiences when I was twelve before I realized that I was gay. When I realized I was gay at fourteen, I sank into a deep depression that took some seven years to lift. It took a concerned college professor to keep me from declining further. What annoyed me was when I would tell people my story they would often trivialize it saying it's not so difficult to be gay any longer. As if I was depressed for nothing. Gee Thanks!! I wanted to say. Maybe it was by Caribbean background because I did not feel very good about being gay for the first 7 years that I knew. No one in my family contributed to my self-esteem in that regard. While I forgave my mother for not knowing better, I'm still estranged from my brother because I remember his attitudes and I always felt alienated from him anyway. Years ago he asked me some tacky questions like when last I had some p___y and it was obvious that he was testing me to see if I was gay. I lied out of fear. Later I realized how very offensive the whole episode was. I often feel I would have done better in college if my self-esteem was healthier. But I feel much better about being gay now and I won't tolerate any abuse or disrespect from family members. Oddly, my elder sister disclosed to me recently that after a failed marriage and two children, she learned that she is gay as well. I once disclosed to my mother some 12 years ago that I was gay but we haven't really talked about it since. She brought it up once acting as if she was going to believe it, as if it was some phase or experience I had. I think she's since given up that fantasy. I sometimes wonder what my mother would think or say when she finds out that 2 of her 3 children are gay. It makes one wonder if there is a genetic component. There are indications that our mother suspects my sister but I haven't let my sister know that yet. My mother has told me about books that my sister keeps hidden with paperbag covers . Once when my sister was away, our mother found one of my sister's books and told me the publisher. I did some research on the internet and let my mother know that the books dealt with love between women. So our mother might know more than my sister realizes. I've unloaded all of my baggage regarding being gay onto my sister yet I didn't tell her that our mother had been investigating her reading material. In some ways, I havent' been entirely forthcoming but my discussion with my mother regarding my sister's 'books' occurred before my sister and I came out to each other. Perhaps because I'm the youngest, our mother seems to confide in me more than the other two. I haven 't told our mother that her eldest child -- my sister - is gay. That's something my sister will have to do on her own time when she feels it's right. Curiously, my sister only realized very late in life that she was gay. But for women, it's not as obvious as it would be for men in our culture, I feel. How, I learned that I was gay was reading a sex-education book which said contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of gay men are indistiguishable from straight men and are not the stereotype of the drag queen. From that sentence, I knew I was gay and was immediately depressed. It seems I knew all along that I was gay but I allowed that bit of prejudice to keep me in denial -- that I wasn't a swishy queen, that I played basketball and I felt and acted masculinely. Now that I've gone through numerous identity crises, I realize that one's sexuality colors a large portion of their personality. Also a lot of my peers were gay too and I didn't want to see it. One's sexual orientation greatly colors one's emotional and mental outlook on humanity. One thing that my journey has taught me is never to deny your true feelings and never to pretend you feel one way when you feel the other. I could never understand some presumably straight people who say things like they cannot understand how someone could be born gay or be attracted to their own gender. There are a multitude of things in the world which, I'm sure, are equally incomprehensible to them yet they exist. I understand that homosexuality doesn't seem to make a lot of sense in terms of reproduction. But why would do any of these people think that a person would 'choose' to become gay? What's the advantage? I only realized recently that people were actually born intersexed. I thought hermaphroditism was something imagined until I saw it. If people could be born with ambiguous genitalia, why is it so unimaginable that people could be naturally attracted to their own gender? I know much of what I said was rambling and I apologize to the readers. But I hope it sheds light on the diversity of experiences of being gay.

THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS BY: College Fling

It was in my fourth year of college for me to finally come out. I didn't hold a parade or land in a daily headline. I simply accepted that I was gay. Suddenly, I started having sexual encounters that just previously I wouldn't allow myself to entertain. I almost felt like a magnet. While I was swimming in this euphoria it didn't help my studies one bit. I remember one weekend night, I heard a knock on my dorm room's door. When I asked who was it all I heard was 'Open the Door'. When I opened the door it was one of my friends who I had gone on a foreign study semester to Quebec with. We started chatting like old pals. He then asked me if I was violent which I thought was a strange question. To make a long story short, he wanted to know if he could experiment with me sexually. I asked him why did he think I could facilitate this 'experience'. He said only that he had a feeling. As he was speaking I noticed he was slowly undressing. I was in a pair of boxers and a bathrobe so I didn't have much to take off. He tried giving me a blowjob and remarked on how hung I was ( that was something I soon learned about after coming out). He then tried to penetrate me anally. While he wasn't especially large, one thrust did hurt a lot and we stopped. He, then, immediately said that he knew now that he was straight. The epiphany on his part did little for me but make me feel exposed. I know he meant me no harm or ill will. He seemed proud of himself for having the guts to experiment. And here I was... the trial bolloon. For a couple of weeks since that encounter whenever I would see him on campus and he would greet me I would say hello back but I felt very awkward. I think he must have noticed my awkwardness too but he never would allow me to come in his orbit without acknowledging me. I'm not sure if he read my reaction as hostility towards him but I didn't feel that way. I just felt awkward. I know he did nothing wrong and I didn't want to feel this way but I couldn't help it. After a while the awkwardness wore off and I could see him and greet him wholeheartedly with no baggage. I was still new to being gay so I had yet to gain confidence. I watch this show on public television that chronicles real high school students and one of them is gay. I must applaud his courage for I was nowhere nearly as self-confident about being gay and out when I was in high school.

THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS BY: my college roomate

I started college last year. When I first met my roommate I noticed how good looking he was. I was banging woman at the time but held secret attractions to guys. During high school I always checked out guys in the showers after gym. I also thought of guys sometimes while masturbating. This roomate seemed straight and was athletic and talked about girls. I always tried to be in the dorm room when he came back from the shower down the hall so I could check him out nude. One time I couldn't resist so I said off-handedly "wow, you've got a pretty big dick" to see his reaction. He looked at me and thought for a second a then said, "yeah, you should see it hard" There was a definite head game being played. I said "let's see". He started stroking it and it got erect quickly. This guy looked hot. Tall, muscular, short dark hair. I undressed to show him my hardon. We started touching each other. I asked if I could suck him off. He said yes. This was my first experience with a guy, but I knew exactly what to do. I put his penis in my mouth and sucked on it for 10 minutes. He was sitting on the bed while I kneeled on my knees. He was moaning as he shot his load into my mouth. It was a full load. He then gave me a BJ better than any woman had ever given me. I asked him to take his shirt off so I could sniff his armpits. His hairy armits were damp but smelled clean as he had just showered.. We rolled around on the bed together nude and felt each other's body all over. I knew I would always prefer men. We both continue to do woman, but secretly have sex in our dorm room all the time. I don't know what's going to happen in the future.

THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER WAS BY: My 16 year old room mate...

A bunch of us guys got to go on a bus trip to Fla. Most of us were the same age. In our room he told me about _____ girls and asked me if I'd ever done it. I told him no but I couldn't wait. All the talk about sex had given me a hard on and Ted even said he was so hard he could _____ a snake's head if I'd hold it still for him. Ted told me he was ready for a shower and started undressing. He was a big blond headed guy and not the least bit embarassed to show off his body. When he pulled his pants down his big boner popped out like a sausage. He also had big dangling balls. He waved it at me and said he didn't think he could stand it with out jerking off. He told me to get undressed so I did and waved my dick at him. He said don't jo until I get out of the shower and went to the br. While he was in the shower, I laid on the bed to wait my turn. When he came out he had his towel wrapped aroung his waist and I was laying on the bed watching tv. I felt him kneel on the bed behind my head and as I looked up to see what he was doing he kneeled over my head, straddling my head. I was now looking up at the biggest, hardest dick I'd ever seen. He said let's wrestle and jerked his towel off and pushed his dick into my face. I could feel his thick dick laying on my face and mouth and his balls on my forhead. He was kinda hunching me and to this day I don't know why I did it, but I open my mouth and started to lick his dick. He monaed, and kept rubbing his dick back and forth across my face. It was so neat to feel the hardness of his dick and the softmess of his balls so I tilted my head back to I could feel his balls rubbing against my face. While he was doing this I suddenly felt hot warmth encircled my dick and he just sucked it down. That was the fist time I ever felt the incredible sexy feelings of a blow job. It didn't take me but a few seconds and I was pumping his mouth full of cum. wave after wave of hot cum shooting into his mouth and he just sucked it right down. He raised up off of me and twisted aroung so now his hard dick was facing my mouth. As I looked up at him I could see some of my cum dripping out of his mouth and he said, Now it's my turn. He took one of my hands and cupped it around his big ball sack, I cupped his balls and gently squeezed them and grabbed his dick with my right hand. It was so big and hard, but yet it was squshie...I marveled at the sight of it and moved it all around so I could study it closer. I'd never been anywhere close to a guys dick before and never seen one at this angle. I'd jack it back and fourth and then I shake it a little ( I always did that to mine when I was jerking off ) I moved my hand back and fourth on it and I as I did, he started moving his dick back and fourth in my hand. His hips were hunching like a dog and I knew he wanted me to take in it my mouth. I was afraid but he kept moving forward until he was leaning over my face. I let him move his _____ down to my mouth and I just licked it as it slid over my lips and face. I know now I was worshiping his dick. By letting him push it against my face, I could feel the heat of his dick, the hardness and wetness of it. His balls were banging against my chin and I finally let it slide into my mouth. Now he was hunching like a mad dog and breathing through his mouth telling me to suck it good. That just excited me more and I knew I wanted to feel his cum shoot all over me. Just then, he pulled his dick back out of my mouth and I just stuck my tongue out and started wacking the head of it up and down on my tongue, as I jerked it back and fourth. He threw his head back and said he was cumming and a flash of white jetted out of his dick across my tongue and over my face. I was shaking it up and down, wacking it against my tongue, licking it as hard as I coud when the next white hot shot of cum splashed into my face, wave after wave of hot cum squirted from his dick. I saw a shot actually fly over my head and hit the wall. I kept licking his dick for him and wiping it all over my face until he was finished. He got off me and I walked into the bathroom and my face and hair was covered in his cum. This was long before I ever saw a cum shot in a porno movie. The only cum I'd ever seen was mine and that had only been a few times. Every since then I've been a cum freak. I love to see my cum or anyone elses shooting over faces. Any other cum freaks out there?

>>>   Next Archives Page Number 14  >>>

<<<   Previous Archives Page Number 12  <<<

You can publish your own entry on the
 Main Page - Confidential Male Homosexuality

SexEditorials.com Supports Freedom of Sexuality Speech for a More Aware Society Main Index | Homosexuality Topic Index | Our Mission | Report Violations

Vagina Pictures Documentary Free picture site created to dispel myths about the human female vagina appearance and vagina sizes. Includes a vagina survey.

© 1999-2005 Raw Psychology Productions, All Rights Reserved.