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Girlfriends, or Wives Masturbate
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WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND, HUSBAND, WIFE, OR GIRLFRIEND STILL MASTURBATE?: Editorials on the reality of partners who masturbate even though they are in a relationship. Although most of the readers are women who are concerned about their partner's masturbation, the same principles in this editorial can be applied to men concerned about their wives or girlfriends masturbation rituals. The fact that a wife or girlfriend masturbates can be equally surprising for some men, but the original editorial below just happens to be written by a man.


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EDITORIAL # 1
TITLE: Why Spouses Masturbate
SEXUALITY:
Straight
GENDER: Male

Every so often we get a question from a girlfriend or a wife asking why their man would sometimes rather masturbate instead of have sex with them. The woman often goes on to say that they are more than willing to have more sex with their man, but he still chooses to masturbate sometimes. These same women admit they have an active sex life with their boyfriend / husband, and they aren't necessarily saying they need more sex then what they are getting. They just don't understand why their guy sometimes chooses masturbation. The sad thing is that they tend to take this issue so personally, which often includes feelings of personal rejection and/or feeling undesired by their sexual partner (particularly when they catch their guy looking at pictures of nude women while they masturbate).

The woman may say to herself: "What's wrong with me?"

"Why isn't he thinking of my body and jumping on me instead of masturbating by himself?"

As I read the questions and concerns above, I think to myself... They just DON'T get it!. They really don't understand.

But why should they get it? Women are 'wired' in a whole different way than guys, something we often forget. Some things that make perfect sense to men just make no sense at all to women.

So, here is the answer which I wish all women would consider:

Most men need and long for masturbation just as much as they need and long for sexual intercourse. Masturbating satisfies a need which no amount of intercourse can. The reverse is definitely also true: Sexual intercourse satisfies a deep need  that no amount of masturbation can replace. The two needs are separate from each other. The two needs are real, and both needs have to be met for most men to be happy.

Women think masturbation is only something guys do when they can't have sex with a woman. And many times this is absolutely true. But masturbation is more than this... It's really a whole different need and a different feeling of pleasure. It is now well known to sex researchers that men who have active sex lives with a partner continue to masturbate regularly. One study I saw showed that men who have regular sexual intercourse with their partner masturbated more then men who had no sexual partner. The fact that men masturbate while in a relationship never means they don't love their partner. It doesn't mean that men don't continue to burn with lust for sex with their partner.

I have had to explain this to my wife, who I truly love. Fortunately, my wife likes being married to me and was willing to listen. She now knows I love to masturbate and have done it throughout my entire life, both in and out of relationships.

I learned two things with her:

(1) She wants to be the only one I love (which she is), even though I might fantasize about other naked women while masturbating.
(2) My wife likes a lot of sex, and she doesn't want my masturbating to take away from our sexual time.

We seem to have worked this issue out. She knows I masturbate, and she is OK with this. But my job, as her husband, is to continue to give her the love she needs and the sex she needs.

Why do men masturbate? Because they love it and they need it. But this doesn't mean they don't want a strong, loving, and very sexual relationship with their partner.

My advice to all women is to not make their boyfriend's or husband's masturbation an issue. Let him do it. A man will love a woman so much deeper when he feels her acceptance of this. I know this from my own experience.

My advice to men is to explain these details to your partner. Let her read this editorial. Tell her how you feel. -- And make sure you satisfy her needs, both emotionally and sexually.


Public Entries Appear Below.
Newest entries are at the bottom of the list.

SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Female
TITLE: my Boyfriend of 3 years

I met a man who is older than me he is in his early forties. When we met the sex was really really good but as time went on a differnt story began.I guess since we were first together it was full of passion and all. When I wasn't living with him, he would tell me all the time about him masturbating and how he would go into the bathrooms at work and before he went to bed. He was the first man to go down on me and I am in my 30's. After we moved in together everything kinda died. I loved to watch him masturbate but he didnt like it, his own hand could get him hard. I loved performing oral sex on him, but it really hurt my feelings that I couldn't keep him hard. I never had any complaints from previous experiences. I felt I was unsatisfying. The only way he can get hard is to go down on me. This takes away a great deal of lovemaking and passion, and I need more than that. He is intimidated by toys, he won't do anything that requires a lot of movement and I like it hard and fast at times. I know he masturbates, why can he make himself hard with his hand but I cant do that nor can I get him hard by oral sex. I am so unhappy, most of the times now he is tired. I am ready to find a lover


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Female
TITLE: bs

I guess this is where my story belongs to make it short one night I woke up I thought my boyfriend was masturbating off so I spyed for a week after confrontation he denys it, I tried 2nd idea to join in he said leave me alone im sleeping, 3rd idea to masturbate at same time nothing works then he tells his friend what I think, I think out of defensiveness then makes me have hour long discussion in our therapy about it denying it and making sure I believe, hes cruel I am not crazy I know he is masturbating..still wtf!!why is he so ashamed of masturbating and why would he do this to me we are getting married this year ive known him for a long time it doesnt make sense


SEXUALITY: Solosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Don

Several years ago, my girlfriend subscribed to Playgirl and someone wrote to the magazine asking why her husband masturbates. Their answer was that masturbation is for release, sex is for connection. Men need both. If he masturbates, let him, and you'll have a happier guy. Don't get so upset about it. It's not that he cares any less about you. He just needs the release from time to time.


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: public handjobs

When I first started dating Amy I did masturbate a lot. She did too sometimes. We would watch each other and masturbate. I also liked to masturbate in public and had for years. Often jacking off or sucking myself off when hiking or at the car wash or feeling myself and rubbing my dick on my thigh under the table or under a newspaper. My ex-girlfriend and I had public sex a lot and she had gotten me into it. She loved it. We were often caught and sometimes they would watch or even join in. Usually if we would watch them watch us Kathy(EX) would invite them to join in. Kathy would masturbate under the table eating lunch dinner you name it. She would also masturbate me under the table. Finally Amy said something to me because I jack off allot. It had not affected our sex life but she was concerned. She decided and I later went along with, She said I could have sex anytime anywhere as long as she was there. So we would go to movies and she would give me a handjob, sometimes several. If I saw a girl I liked I would get a bonner and she would relieve me. She often gives me a handjob or blow job or quickie in the car in a parking lot where people can watch. or in a park. She has given me handjobs while her sister is in the other room or her brother. I have seen them watch us and Amy has too. IT is a huge turn on. Amy will jack me with a smoothie style or sometimes pull on hit. Often she starts with a smoothie and usually goes down on me to cum in her mouth. Amy is very attractive and has admitted to me now that she gives handjobs and blowjobs to a few guys at work and school. I was pretty mad at first but my ex girlfriend was always having sex with allot of guys and girls as well. So I have accepted it. She will have gret sex and tell me to meet her somewhere and when I do a several guys are around her and she is jacking one and blowing the other one while the other guys are waiting for their turns. I wait until all the guys have cum in her mouth or cum on her face and then leave. I then join her and she kisses me and makes me kiss and lick all the sperm off face and breasts. Then she maybe will releive me, She often meets me now and has crotch full of cum. I lick it all out and she really really likes that. We are going to get married but she still insists that I cannot have sex without her. So lately she has been bringing other guys over and I watch her with them and then she will make me suck them off. I did not like it at first but I ust admitt I have really come to enjoy it. So it all started with her masterbating me in public. WOW.


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SEXUALITY: Metrosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: yo

After we moved in together everything kinda died. I loved to watch him masturbate but he didnt like it, his own hand could get him hard. I loved performing oral sex on him, but it really hurt my feelings that I couldn't keep him hard. I never had any complaints from previous experiences. I felt I was unsatisfying. The only way he can get hard is to go down on me. This takes away a great deal of lovemaking and passion, and I need more than that. He is intimidated by toys, he won't do anything that requires a lot of movement and I like it hard and fast at times. I know he masturbates, why can he make himself hard with his hand but I cant do that nor can I get him hard by oral sex. I am so unhappy, most of the times now he is tired. I am ready to find a lover


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: JOY OF JACK OFF

ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO DO IS JACK OFF.I HAVE BEEN DOING IT FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS AND I FIND IT JUST AS EXCITING AS HAVING SEX.I HAD TO CONFESS TO MY WIFE THAT I MASTURBATE AND I STILL NEED SOME PUSSY.SO I INCLUDE HER AND WHILE SHE DOESN'T TOTALLY UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR RELEASE IT SURE BEATS GOING OUT AND SOME OTHER WOMAN TO MEET MY NEEDS.BESIDES I ENJOY MASTURBATING WITH HER PANTIES,IT HELPS ME TO FOCUS ON HER AND NOT SOME OTHER WOMAN.SHE HAS GIVEN ME HER OLD PANTIES AND MADE ME PROMISE NOT TO USE HER NEWER PANTIES.I ALSO ENJOY WEARING HER SLIPS AND NIGHTIES.SO AS LONG AS YOU ARE OPEN AND BEING HONEST YOU GIRLFRIEND,WIFE OR VERY SPECIAL PERSON SHOULD LET YOU ENJOY YOUR SPECIAL TIMES ALONE.


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: RJ

I am in my 40's and am very happly married. However my wife was raised that the peins, testicles, and cum were diry, and that sex for that matter was jsut about as bad. She has changed her way of thinking to some point. She still has some problems touching my penis and testicles at times but she is doing it more offten. I do make love to my wife but not as offten as I would like to. So I still jerk off, and my she knows it. In fact she will jerk me off but it is because she is not in the mood to have intercourse so she will jerk me off and if I don't cum very fast she and she gets tired she will have me take over the jerk off sesion, and she will watch me jerk off while she plays with my balls. I love it when she jerks me off and it makes her feel very special that she can do that for me and make me cum, while knowing that even if I jerk myself off I will always want to make love to her without any questions and regardless of the time.


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SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Girl Trouble by Confused Guy

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. It started off great, we would have lots of sex all of the time and it was great, but I understood that this was the courtship period and that things would die down. They did. But I am a little confused and I hope that someone can give some advice on this. -----

Okay so we have sex now on average once a week and it is normally longer drifting near the once every two weeks. The problem is that I have noticed that she is masturbating when I am not home with this massager thingy. I think it is nearly every day. When I want to have sex, I get the wall of NO. After a while, I feel like a pervert for trying. I guess what really makes it hurt a bit is that I think she's either addicted to this thing or she is not attracted to me anymore. Now, I can rationalize and say that when I am not home, maybe she is bored or just likes it or whatever, but... I have also found her to use this massager while I am home but hopping in the shower. This happens on the weekend. Or sometimes on the weekends, she will ask me to run to the store to get something and then she'll use it while I'm out. -----

I know all of this because this massager is always in a different place when I see it again. It just hurts is all and I am wondering if this is normal. I don't think it is.---- I have tried to sort of use the massager with her, asking her if she wants me to tell her a naughty story or something and that sometimes works, but mostly no. I was thinking that maybe she doesn't like having sex b/c maybe it hurts or something when we do it so maybe we could just masturbate together. Not happening. The other thing is that she is not very touchy lovey with me at all. It's really weird but I feel like the roles have been reversed on me without my knowing. I am the one who is trying to woo and romance and if I didn't instigate a hug or a kiss, it would not happen. ----

I am stopping here because it is frustrating to think about. I feel like I am exhausting all ideas but the obvious, she's not attracted to me.


Editor's Notes: In respose to the above entry, a reader sent commentary to our email address at sex

FROM A READER:
I am guessing that there are issues beyond sex in your marriage. I think this is more about intimacy, which is engendered only by love and understanding. Sex is about intimacy for women, and if the intimacy is broken by failed expectations and disappointment, we don't want sex any more.

First of all, can you stop monitoring the position in the house of the damn massager? This is a biggie - accept she is a sexual being and although she doesn't want intimacy with you right now, she still needs release. Actually this is a good sign for you, because if you two can deal with the issues that stop her wanting to be intimate with you, you're very likely headed for some good sex! It's also good that she isn't hiding this from you and replacing the thing in the same place every time - she's showing you that something is wrong, perhaps in the only way she can.

How do you express your disappointment to her? Are you expressing hurtful words and attitudes, and not listening to what she says seriously? If so, this could contribute to her rejection of you. Tone of voice, facial expression, and words used are very important to women. (If she is using tones, expressions and words that are cold or hurtful, it may be in response to your doing these things, or she may not see that it hurts you, especially if you communicate this way.)

Read on for a discussion of intimacy and how you might turn this around. I'm no expert, but I have thought long and hard on this issue.

Until my ex and I married, everything was fine. But he wanted a traditional wife who was good at housework and who did all of it, and I had no idea. I've never been this way, which he knew before we were married. He was extremely resentful when I didn't change my entire self after we married to suit his plan (which he had never told me about). On the other hand, I knew his mother, who could win a housewife competition with Donna Reed, and I could have at least suspected that he might want a wife like this - and asked whether he expected this. I could have explicitly let him know I wouldn't be like her.

He didn't want to listen when I told him why I was unhappy. He claimed that I was better at expressing myself than he was, so he could never win an argument. He used this as grounds to discount anything I said.

I stopped wanting to be intimate with him.

The reason women want to have sex with men we love is that we feel loved by, and intimate with them. When we stop feeling loved, or start feeling that our men are unreasonable, we stop wanting intimacy and sex with them.

People go into relationships and marriages expecting certain things from their partner, and unless those expectations are right there in the open, and the partner agrees, disaster can ensue. Relationships are like contracts, they are negotiated. You need to find out if you want the kind of things the other wants.

The other relationship killer is allowing oneself to feel too committed and attached to someone before you know the other person well enough to know what you can expect from them reasonably. Things go along fine for awhile, but then the number of incidents where your (or their) expectations are not met build up. You (or they) get more and more hurt, and blammo, you stop wanting to be intimate with them (or they with you). You may still love each other, but that love is being eroded by pain and dismay.

Even if you are "in love", until you know someone fairly well, and see them react to a variety of situations, you really can't know how they will act or how their actions are likely to effect you. It's important to not only observe, but to talk about potential situations that are big and important but unlikely to come up in everyday life, to see how they feel and might act in them. When someone is coming "out of left field", they think they are only being reasonable, but you might not find that reaction reasonable. People are so different! Beliefs on how to live are so different! Worse, when someone close to us is that different, we can react judgmentally, making them resentful.

It also helps to observe how they actually do things versus how they say they will do them - many people differ between what how they would like to be and how they actually are. This does not make them bad, just hopeful and wishing to do things differently than they already are. But to someone who doesn't know them, or who can't see the reality behind the words, this can lead to disappointment. It's crucial to observe whether someone actually does the things that are important to you or not, no matter what they say.

When a friend of mine got married, about 7 or 8 years ago, he said he was willing to marry his girlfriend because he had discussed things with her, and she had the kind of values he wanted - she wanted to be a traditional wife and do all the regular wifey things, and he wanted that kind of wife. Additionally, he had seen her home, and knew she would be the way she said she would. I thought he was cold and calculating at the time, but now I realize he did it right. They both wanted this out of a marriage, and they seem to have a good relationship. They negotiated their contract well.

Perhaps you could ask your love, in a non-threatening manner, what it is you are doing or expecting that makes her not want to touch you anymore. Chances are that you expect things from her she didn't know you would expect, or perhaps she just thought she could do these things but once she was actually in the situation where she had to do them she discovered that she didn't like them. Or perhaps she became unwilling to meet your expectations because of ways you acted.

You two may need to re-negotiate your "contract". If either of you have deal-breakers that the other finds unreasonable, can you two find ways to meet in the middle? Compromise is absolutely necessary in relationships. If you can live with her deal-breakers and she can live with yours, then you have a chance.

Also, it won't work to tell her she is hurting you, but I'm guessing you know this, because you've probably tried with poor results. The thing is, she's probably as hurt by you, but unable to tell you, or you're not listening. But if you tell her you want to make her happy and find out how, and really listen to the things she tells you, and put them into action, she may want you again.

In the 1600s, Sir John Suckling wrote:

WHY so pale and wan, fond lover?
Prithee, why so pale?
Will, when looking well can't move her,
Looking ill prevail?
Prithee, why so pale?

Even then, being a victim didn't work. "Sleep with me because you're hurting me!!!" Nah, that won't work. But "Sleep with me because I love you and you make me so happy!!!" - well, then you have a chance.

Are you telling her she is beautiful? Is she beautiful to you? For those men whose woman has "let herself go" you need to look at why - women don't do this because they get lazy after marriage, they do it because they are unhappy. If you make her realize that she is beautiful to you no matter how she looks she may surprise you and take better care of herself to please herself and to please you. Are you still doing things to please her? Not things that would please you, or that you think should please her, but things she actually wants? Are you accepting of things that differ from your view of how things should be? Are there things about her you just can't accept, ever?

I suggest you both go to couples counseling with some of these things in mind. Show her this post. See if she responds "YES!" to anything I've written.


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Coming for my Wife

My ex wife never really loved me. After many times of trying to be just so and have everything just right, I gave up. Then one day, I asked here if she wanted to make a littly love. She said, do it yourself.... I said" Fine I will" I Jacked off three times right in front of here. She pretended to ignore me but I knew it bothered her. I didn't care anymore... I spent 9 years with that mean woman. I spent the last two years of our marriage almost constantly playing with myself. I bet I jacked off in front of her at least 1,200 times. I would do it once or twice then go to bed. Then I would say, hey... I am going to jack off...wanna watch. She would roll over. I would jack off so hard the bed would shake. I caught her at least three times. One time she was so horny she asked me to stick my penis in her butt. I did... I couldnt believe it. She wouldn't ever do it again and we only had sex twice more in two years. She sure loved masturbating herself though. I loved watching her... I always Jacked Off watching her...


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Female
TITLE: SAD

I have to admit! I love my husband very much but I am very sad knowing that he jerks off looking at these beautiful wemon on the_____ and doesnt find me attractive! He tells me that im sexy , but I dont believe it anymore! I'm overweight, but still attractive! I know Im not in the greatest of shape, but Im trying to lose weight the best that I can by working out 5 days a week! Im doing it for me and for him to an extent!I just feel like hes not interested in me anymore, only when hes been jerking off for a while and I feel like Im just there to fill in so to say! I just feel like In being used and I hate it ! Help!


SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Male
TITLE: john married stroker

I have been married for years and still enjoy jacking off on a daily bases my wife sometimes fondles me while I do. I hide this from her for years but now she kind of accepts it, she still pleases me but I still enjoy this very much.


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Female
TITLE: Trying to accept it

I am just trying to understand and accept that my boyfriend doesn't just imagine me to get him off. I recently discovered that he uses porn as a means to jack off and while I understand that jacking off and a sexual intercourse are two very different needs I can not help but feel that I am not enough for him. I have been told many times how beautiful and "hot" I am. While I am still working on acquiring that perfect body, I definitely do not think I look bad now. I just can't help feeling that his need to use outside stimulus as a means to get aroused is a direct reflection on how he sees me. I have offered to let him take nude pictures of me and us together as a means to add some excitement to our relationship and to give him something of me to look at when the need for release strikes him but he just doesn't seem to interested in it. I know that he has taken pictures of a previous girlfriend in these situations and it is a little bit of a blow to my ego that he doesn't seem interested in doing that with me. That tied in with the fact that he seems to have a need for outside stimulus leaves me feeling like less of a woman, less wanted and less attractive. Any insight or advice that may help me come to terms with this would be greatly appreciated.


SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Masturbation

I always get satisfaction,when my wife masturbates me. Some times she mastrbates me in the bathroom and some times in the bed itself. Before sex with me, she always forces me for this game daily. She loves to fondle and play with my testicles and penis. She gets more pleasure than me when she sees the ejaculated semen and says "how far the semen has gone". Fastest the distance, greatest the pleasure she gives me.



SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: nik nme

My wife and I are in our 60’s. We now masturbate together four or five times a week. She uses a vibrator. We often face hip to hip. She masturbates to an organism while I watch, masturbate with one hand and stroke her vagina with three or four fingers. Sometimes she wants me to come first. She uses her vibrator and watches while I ejaculate . For varity I will penetrate her vagina with my tongue while she uses her vibrator. She also dons a rubber glove , and lube and inserts her finger into may anus to massage my prostate gland while I masturbate. At climax, the prostate becomes rock hard and the organism is very strong!


SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Female
TITLE: nightly masterbation

I admit that I enjoy watching my boyfriend masterbate. I have masterbated myself for years. My problem is his timing. He wakes up every two to three hours to do it. Sometimes he just plays a little. Sometimes he goes at it hard. He even gets up to go to the bathroom to come. He wants me to sleep through all of this. (Which I'm pretending I am) It's impossible. At first I thought he wanted sex. Now I realize he doesn't. He wants release. OK. 3 times a night! OK, then I thought I'd watch and sort of participate like caress his balls or play with his anus. But if I roll over he pretends he's sleeping and that it isn't happening. (never seen a guy rollover and pull up the covers so fast in your life!) We have a super sex life. He is by far the best lover I have ever had. So I have got to figure out a way to deal with this. It doesn't have anything to do with whether we have sex that night or not. In fact, I think he may do it more, if we do have sex. It's like we got the drive thing started. I'm exhausted. 5:30 am wake up calls come early. I am frustrated. Thought of pulling out a vibrator each time at least it might help me sleep. He's a great guy but this every two hours is killing me and making me feel (I don't know) like he's got some dirty secret he doesn't want to share with me.


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SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Men's nipples Paddyoc

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SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Female
TITLE: Capriciousdsires

I am 49 years old in a committed relationship, getting married in September this year. I have been masturbating regularly since I was around 19. My partner who is 50 masturbates several times a week as I do and we both know this. We discussed it before we got into a relationship and both understand what the others needs were and are. Sometimes I watch which is a big turn on for me. There is just something very sexual about a confident man holding and rubbing his own cock. When I masturbate I do not always have him in mind. Actually I have no man on my mind, just a hard cock being rubbed up and down until it comes. It is a faceless cock. He thinks of anal, butts, her hands holding her cheeks out, but she too is faceless. It isn't all bad out there. He does not love me less nor I him or feel we don't need or want one another because we masturbate. I have thousands of dollars woth of sex toys that he has bought me to play with while he is at work and I am sraying home. I make great use of them. Sometimes I wear one out on the town and he has the controls and can make me cum when he wants me too. Lighten up girls and make it ALL fun and exciting instead of hang ups. LIke it has been said girls, he looks at images and you are his REAL thing!


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SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Female
TITLE: sad and lonely

I have this great guy. He is a terrific kisser, I can tell he really loves me. But, he likes to masterbate. I don't understand why he doesn't wait for me. I get all hot and horny, and wait for him, although I'm not into masterbation, I'm thinking maybe this is the best way. Although it would seem better to have a real guy that wants to make love to me, instead of beat off in the case he doesn't get any that night. I am sad and confused, because I wanted him so bad last night, my body shook for a long time, after he left. I know he masterbated that day, and wasn't in the mood because of that. I don't know why, but it makes me feel so sad and lonely, and discouraged. I wish I could meet a guy that waited, and wanted to be with me, instead of masterbating.


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Female
TITLE: I too am confused (babygirl)

I have been in a relationship with my partner for 3 years and we have and are very close. and love each other intensely. But for some reason talking openly to him about sex, sex desires, masturbation is a real issue for me. We have a very active sex life. I guess this is what I find confusing that some nights my partner would prefer sole masturbation rather than have sex or jump in the shower with me and share the experience. I feel rather hurt about this mainly because I think I am so open to sex , positions desires etc. yet for him it seems he will even go to the lengths of waiting till I am asleep to go off to the shower. I think that might be because of me. I have been upset previously after he comes from the shower and I know he has been masturbating. I seem to get so upset I keep it in but shut him out and go to sleep with as little of no goodnight contact. after reading some editorials today I am a little less confused by the whole drama. however what still confuses me is that I have masturbated whilst we were dating and living separately. and I knew he did too we used to together over the phone but now its like maybe I expected that with me being there and being so open to oral, positions, active sex anytime anyplace. that those needs of ours would no longer be there., I know for myself there are still times when I thought to masturbate enters my head. usually for me it is when I am at home and he has already gone to work and I am thinking of the night before with him. However I feel that I would rather wait for him, and share our intimacy. I just don't understand why men have the need to masturbate themselves. when they have a open minded person to share the intimacy with. I would feel like I am betraying my partner to lose my juices over guys in magazines movies etc. why do men not feel the same level of committment. am I a nutcase. I really do begin to doubt my sexuality. desirability. etc. I guess he is just not the right guy for me , I pleasure him so much but I think that he doesn't understand the height of the feeling that can be received and given by just nakid touching, caressing , why are men so out of touch with the way women need to be aroused. why does it have to be wam bam thank you mam. or arousal rough and boisterous like them. maybe we really arn't in love . just loves me when he wants to _____ me. help me I am so confused.



SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Male
TITLE: GET OVER IT

Men jack OFF! If you ladys do not want your many to jack off, find a way to keep him EMPTY. I am married and I do it everytime I get the chance. WE guys to not have periods, we most of the time do NOT have head aces. Many women can find more reasons to not have sex. Why get married if you can't try to keep up with your man's bedroom needs. If he is jacking OFF, he is NOT doing your friend, co worker or a lady down the street. Deal with it or you jack him off! it's a plumbing thing. Pipes get backed up and things get clogged. We think better if our pipes are clean. Thats just the way it is. We have to deal with PERIODS! By the way most women do not have a problem keeping their boyfriend empty, They do after the marraige. Again Bate and switch!


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SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Female
TITLE: princessice

My husband often says to me if I am not going to 'give him sex' then he will do it himself. I know that I have a jealousy problem yet seriously, is that a threat or what? As if to say if I'm not in the mood and he is, then I'm SOL? He's attractive, so am I, the jealousy part comes from past relationships where I was litterall 'screwed' out of enjoying life. The problem my husband and I are having are the kids issues, raising 2 teenagers so the stress level is high and somewhat chaotic yet, if he feels he needs to masturbate then shouldn't he keep those thoughts to himself rather than 'be controlling' in trying to make me think he needs me all the time to 'hold his hand'?? I'm new here, and have read a few articles saying it turns people on to see there partners 'jack off' so I just wanted to voice my opinion. Kids and Work come 1st in my book of life the the foundation of marriage comes in, not saying it's 2nd or last, just saying that when he feels the urge to explode, he can either wait until I'm able and ready or do it on is own time and keep his mouth shut! Thanks for hearing me out.


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SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Richard Rub\It's our 1st Love

How can I put this? Our buddy in our pants is something you cannot get us to seperate from. You can drive away all our friends but the penis is here to stay. We have a long term relationship with him and he gives us such a pleasure of his own that we cannot find in regular intercourse with a vagina, from a blow job or a hand job that isn't our own. See, most of us guys have been masturbating since we were circa 10 to 12yrs old. When we were younger it was 5 to 6 times a day, we've done it everywhere. In the bath, in the shower, in our bedrooms, on the kitchen table, outside in the backyard, in our own clothes, in womens clothes. We've fantasized while masturbating about hot girls at school, hot teachers, hot girls in mags, hot girls on TV or in the movies. Shagging your aunt, your aunt-in-law, your next door neighbor, your brothers girlfriend. As you get older the ability to fantasize fades away so you'll end up using a mucky mag and maybe if you're lucky a wank 5 to 6 times. Sometimes if the weather is good and there's a lot of feremones\testostrone in the air you might manage 3 to 4 times a day.----- Then when you get involved with a woman you're suppossed to stop, just like that. They seem to get it confused that we masturbate because we don't have a woman to have intercourse with. The thing is they're brought up to believe this. Men want sex with women and masturbation. How can we give up something that has been the biggest part of our development into men. When we were 13/14yrs old, geeky and spotty, all the girls were fantasizing about some pop star and masturbating about him, us guys would not get a second look for these girls no matter sex. So we had to do something for ourselves. Now give it up.----- Before I started living with my girlfriend, when I was about 19yrs old, I would masturbate on Monday, Tuesday, meet her on Wednesday night have sex somewhere, Thursday have a wank, Friday and Saturday night sex again. Sunday was a day of rest. Now we're living together we have sex most nights. I used to only masturbate ocassionally but the past 3 months I've been finding myself going to the toilets at work for a quick shuffle, the toilets at the mall. Even standing peeing at the urinal I get hard. In bed with my girlfriend at night I find myself getting up, walking over to the window, drawing back the curtains a little and having a wank. My girlfrind caught me about 3 nights back. I told her about my increased need to masturbate. She said it was okay as she has been feeling the same. She understands that when you get into a relationship you add sexual intercourse with the relationship. Sexual intercourse should not be a substitute for masturbation. Whoever thinks masturbation is a substitute for sex has it the wrong way around. Just think of what you did first, play with yourself or have intercourse with someone first.


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Larsen

My wife knows that I masturbate and says that she does "occasionally." The last time being about a year ago. I would like to encourage her to do it more and incorporate it into our sexual lives. She will not talk about it and I just want her to know it is not embarassing or dirty. We are all sexual beings and masturbation is a part of that being.


SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER: Male
TITLE: masturbation

I constantly masturbate to my wife - I could not tell you the the last time I thought about anyone else while I was wanking my cock. Right now I am sitting with a pair of her slutty pants on and a pair wrapped around my cock, I dont want to think about anyone else all I want to think about is huge hard cocks _____ her, anyones cock apart from mine


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SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: jack and jilling

My wife and I masturbate together regularly. We started after 20 years of marriage. We just started talking about masturbation one day and before the conversation ended, there we were masturbating together. It's not the only kind of sex we have together, but we both love it. The intensity of the orgasms are fantastic. She has multiple orgasms by masturbating, as many as 6 or 7 regularly. She actually had over 20 during one session. While she's bringing herself to so many, I'm lying next to her in bed jerking away. I like it because of the control I have over my cumming. After she has her share and is satisfied, she turns to me and starts talking dirty and prompts me to let it go. I always do, never dissappoint her. She loves to count my cum spurts. I usually have 12 or 13. The first 10 are big squirts. The last couple are little ones. She likes to laugh at my last couple of little ones. This interest in masturbation has taken us on a new twist. I've now told her that I'd occasionally jerk off on Sunday mornings. Sunday, because she's a light sleeper and sometimes I snore and wake her up. She'll get up and sleep on couch. So sometimes I wake up on Sunday mornings and start thinking about her juicy, smelly _____ and start playing with myself. Well, before you know it, I've shot my load. Since we've started masturbating together, I've told her about my nasty little Sunday habit and further have invited her into the bedroom. I've told her that she might catch me jerking away. I figured, why not tell her, because I'm thinking about her while I'm doing it. She's very willingly taken me up on my invitation and now regularly she quietly enters the bedroom on Sundays and if I'm not already jerking away, I soon am. She snuggles in next to me and dozes off to sleep while I masturbate. It's a wonderful release and I figure very legitimate because she's fully knowledgeabe about it. That's about it, except to say that we usually have a date on Friday night as soon as she arrives home from work, which is about 30 minutes from now. So I'm sitting here writing this entry, and thinking about my wife's wonderful _____ and how I love to watch her masturbate away with her two vibrators. We both recommend the practice. Like I said, it's not the only type of sex we have, but it certainly is intense.


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SEXUALITY: Bisexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Men are from which Planet?

Once again the whole male vs female issue comes to play. Men must have the relase and the masturbation is that from of release. It is something that men only understand and is always talked about between each other. Most men have had some type of mutal masturbation experience with another male, I think it is a major part of the whole male bonding thing. Men can have mutal masturbation between each other, either physical or just in the same room together. Dose that make him gay? well the act maybe homosexual, but it can just be sexual between two guys. The professional always have an answer, but In my understanding and reading of historical documentation of our ancestors, most tribes had mutual male on male masturbation as the " rights of passage from boy to manhood ". A partner who masturbates is a partner in touch with their own sexual feelings and desires. That makes them a great partner in my book.



SEXUALITY: Heterosexual
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Wally, masturbator

I have masturbated frequently since age 12. I have been married twice. My first wife was usually unable to have an orgasm no matter how stimulated. I performed vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, manual clitoral stimulation and vibrator stimulation. The only time I remember her cumming was a time that I awakened with her on top of me, _____ away. I frequently masturbated alone. I was masturbating on the toilet one day, looking at a porn mag. Just as I finished I got a phone call, I answered it and forgot to flush the toilet and put the porn away and left the house. My wife later came home, saw the cum in the toilet and the porn mag, she called my at my office and confronted me about masturbating. It made me feel guilty and angry, the only satisfaction I was getting sexually was by masturbating. We divorced. My second wife is much better sexually, though somewhat "prudish" She does not do oral sex on me except very rarely. During pregnancy we began mutual masturbation. Initally she would jack me off and rub the head of my penis on her clitoris until we both had orgasm. We have continued to mutually masturbate as our main form of sexual activity. I know I am a masturbator and I suspect that she was a masturbator also. There was a time in the marriage where there was stress, We had little sexual activity. During that time I found out she was masturbating, using our Hitachi vibrator. I would wrap the cord arourd it in a certain way, later I would check and the cord would be unwound. I continued to masturbate frequently during that time. Things greatly improved and we have frequent mutual masturbation sessions. I like for her to orgasm first, I get alot of sexual gratification from stimulating her to orgasm. I like to watch her get aroused from me using my fingers on her clitoris, a vibrator on her clitoris or my tongue on it. We use a variety of positions, I think it is much better than vaginal sex, I think she does too, but I haven't asked her. She has prolonged orgasms and they occur every time. After she has finished it is my turn! While doing her I have been jacking off, she finishes me off with her hand or hand and vibrator. I like to be kneeling so I can watch her jack me off, sometimes I get on elbows and knees and _____ her hand. I still solo masturbate some, usually to computer porn pictorial or reading stories like this. A few things are missing. I would like for her to say "lets masturbate". I wouldn't mind if she said "would you masturbate for me and I'll do it for you"


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SEXUALITY:
GENDER:
TITLE: Anonymous

My husband and I are expecting our 2nd child in 3 months. We used to have sex as much as we could, until I got pregnant. However, I came home from work one night and found my lotion on the computer table and a ton of websites that he had been looking at. I also found a toy he used to pleasure himself. I was so pissed off. Our son was at the sitters for the weekend and I was looking forward to a great night with my husband. I asked if he was having fun without me and he didn't say anything. I went into the computer to see what kind of crap he had been looking at. Of course it was all blondes that look like crack whores. I felt like _____. Not only am I pregnant, but my husband hasn't been showing much interest in my lately. I could not stop crying and he just didn't get it. I caught him masterbating before on our couch one morning. Which pissed me off because I was waiting for him to come to me, instead he jacked off and went to work. You men have no clue how that makes us feel. I don't care if there is a difference between connection and wacking off. We need to feel wanted, and finding my husband playing with himself while looking at fake looking woman just doesn't help. Why is it that men have to do it? You don't hear about women having to go and rub themselves off just because that is what they do. I am not saying that I have never done it, I wait until my husband gets home. I feel selfish if I get off when he isn't home. I don't have a problem waiting. Obviously my husband can't. Sex is suppose to be fun and time to find each other isn't it? We are only in our 20's and having this problem. When I get older how much less will he be interested in me?


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-Submitted December 6, 2005
obsessed
Straight
Female

I dont know where to start,i am having a real hard time dealing w/my boyfriend masterbating.The thought once turned me on,now makes me crazy.Every time i leave the house he does it,when i come home i automaticly start looking for proof that he did.we do have a good sex life, but i want him to want me like he wants to look at the perfect women/teens(18) while he wacks off.we have talked about this before, and he has told me this is who he is,and what he does.He tells me it has nothing to do w/me,its not the same feeling he gets when we have sex.he likes both alot.to top it off i love to masterbate myself, but still feel threatened by him doing it.I need help from someone to stop being so mad at him,and saying mean things to him.I think about it more than he does it.I love him to much to ruin our relationship over my obsessions.


-Submitted December 11, 2005
Bree
Straight
Female

I have been maturbating alot lately. I am 8 mths pregnant and I feel that my partner isn't very attracted to me anymore. Masturbating makes me feel pretty again. My birthday just passed and he told me I was getting old. How crazy is that being that I'm only 23. I can't help but to notice how he looks at younger girls 17-19 years old. I wish I was what he wanted and lusted for. It's almost like the more he says he loves me, the less he lust me. I miss the days he would come home and fuck me without saying a word. Or the way he would watch my ass when I got out of the car. All of this runs through my mind when we are trying to have sex and so it's hard for me to get aroused. So when he goes to work I masturbate to the thought of men jerking off to the sight of me. Especially married men. I am so depressed about this. I think I might cheat on him soon after the birth of my child. The passion is GONE!!!!

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-Submitted December 12, 2005
masterbation saved my marriage
Heterosexual
Male

If it was not for masturbation I would never have stayed married for the last 30 years. i masturbate with my wife and by myself. i have suggested she have me masturbate in front of her best friend/ sister. i enjoy having her catch my seed, i love climaxing on her breasts and face. she is pretty good at trying to get out of the way which makes it even more fun when i catch her. she takes pictures of the cum shot, timing the moment perfectly. i suggest that she try masturbating in front of me, but she says that her Catholic upbringing wouldn't allow her to do so.


-Submitted January 8, 2006
cuzco

Male

I have been married for 44 years and, whilst we have an active sex life, we both masturbate sometimes together and sometimes alone. If you can both accept this need then there is no problem. Some of the best muliple orgasms my wife has had is when she masturbates whilst I massage her G spot.

My advice is to accept this as non-threatening and use masturbation as a turn on .

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-Submitted January 22, 2006
We both masturbate
Heterosexual
Male

I do it, sometimes while she watches, and she loves it. Gets her hot watching me. She almost ALWAYS masturbates herself right before I enter her and have sex with her. She claims she gets off easier once she has made herself cum before sex with her hand. Claims it brings her closer, so when I am going at it, she's ready to go off again. Sometimes, I have my doubts. I KNOW she gets off with her hand every single time with me sucking a nipple and talking dirty to her, or she wouldnt do it every single time we had sex. I think she only occasionally gets off from me inside of her. But thats fine with me, we both feel satisfied, and both enjoy ourselves together.

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NOTE:
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This page is reserved for editorials on masturbation within a relationship (not porn within a relationship).



-Submitted September 2, 2006
mutual fun
Heterosexual
Male

My wife and I are in our 60's, both previously married, and widowed. We boyth have admited to each other that we enjoy masturbating, and decided to try it with each other at the same time. A whole new world of sexual fasination and fun has come u pfor us. Our sexual activity usually starts out the regular way, kissing, fondling, enjoying the touch and feel of each other's body, but then as we began to get serious about thigns we began to masturbate. I love to suck her breasts and call her mommy as I jack off. She calls me her little boy and massages her own clitoris and vagina. She has severa lorgasms, and when I am close she begans to ask, Does my boy want to shoot his cum on mommy's tittys, or in her mouth? This makes the cu mboil up and out of my balls, and I usually whisper Mouth,' and she gives me her mouth to cu min. She will then kiss me with her mouth full of my cum and tongue a lot of it back into my mouth. Sometimes I am her little brother, and I catch her masturbating, and I make her tell me what she is doing and she shows me by making me lay my head on her thigh as she fingers herself. of course I am stroking my own penis, and when she cums she sometimes squirts and I love the taste.I jack off onto her tittys and then suck them as she uses a viberator to make herself cum. Yes, I enjoy the taste of my cum as well as the taste of her hot juicies. We often masturbate each other to orgasm. She loves to hold my penis while it is spurting hot cum onto her nipples, then while I suck one nipple, she lifts her other nipple to her own mouth and we both suck my cum off of her breasts as she has her orgasm. We tell each other jack off fantisies, she wants 10 naked men and boys around her naked body on a bed, ,,the men and boys jack off and flood her body with hot cum as she uses a viberator on her self . I love to suck and lick her pussy as I jack off, as my cum oozes out of my penis she wil catch it in her hand and we will share it with our tongues. We do a times have intercouse, and it is great. I love it when she uses my penis like a dildoe as I am positioned bytween her legs, her hand on my penis rubbing it on her vagina and clitoris. She will have a climax, then either insert my penis in her ,or pull me up to her mouth ,and suck her juices from my penis then have me masturbate and cum in her face, mouth and on her breast. To us masturbation is as much a part of our sexual love life as intercourse, or oral, and we use it fully for our pleasure and fun.


-Submitted September 26, 2006
Ann and I over the years
Heterosexual
Female

We were married about 2 years when coming home from a business trip early I saw her boss at the time car in our driveway going past I parked up the street, it being dark, I knew no one could see me, going to a side window by some large plants I hidden and looked into our living room there was my pretty 20 year old hot 5'5 34B 24 34 130 pound sexy blond hair wife on our sofa necking with her boss, he was feeling her up good, she was bare foot, with a mini skirt on and a tube top, no bra, just pink silky panties which were showing, with her bare legs, my intent was to go in and kick the shit out of him, but I kept watching as her top came down and the kissing and feeling her up got more and more serious, I soon had a killer hard on, taking it out of my paints, I was soon jerking it off, coming as she with him sitting on the sofa sat on him, he was a real tall, over 6'5 real fat guy, he got it in her and still kissing each other they both soon came, as did I on the side of the house, he laid he back and got on her doing her again, I could hear them both, as she begged him, I really could not see her he was so big just her feet and lower legs jumping around as he plowed her hard, I was hard again and jerking it off again I came,as he came, leaving them I waited till he left before driving in the drive I didn't at that time say anything, but several years later we discussed it, by that time she was pretty much the towns pump, I still enjoy doing myself when she is out, works for us.

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-Submitted October 30, 2006
treehouse
Straight
Male

I still masterbate after 7 years of marrage. I guese that it's just quicker. I have had an early experance with sex. When I was 4 years old I had a sexual experance. I lived in the mountains and rode a bus to school everyday. I had a neighbor boy about 12 years old, he and I would have to sit and weight for the bus for about a half hour everyday. One day he pulled his pants down and said suck on my weaney. At first I was not willing, buteventuly I did, It wasnt that bad. I would allways swallow his come, . He would offer to suck on my little dick it didnt do much for me. This went on for several months. On week ends he would come over and we would go on walks. He had a younger sister about 5 years old. he would sometimes bring her along too.There were a lot of trees and brush around where we lived. Everyone would take there clothes off and we would run around naked, until it got time to go home. We would have a good time we took turns sucking Bills cock and eating come. His little sister would play with my dick, and we took turns playing with Ann. This went on for a couple of months. One day Bill didnt come around anymore. I haven't told any one about this in all of those years. I still dress up in stockings and skirts and play around the house I am strait, but it feels good in the girls clothes . I masterbated for the first time , by accident. I was home alone on a Saturday I had my horse in the barn. I saddled him up and went for a ride. I was about a mile from home when I came up with the idea of rideing naked ,so I found some trees and took my saddle off my horse. I also took my clothes off .When I got on my horse bareback ,I felt my dick get hard, the rubbing on the horsehair and my bare dick just made me feel like I had never felt before, there was this white stuff on the horses back, that had came from my dick. I had never felt that fealing before. That was about 40 years ago and I still masterbate when I feel like it....


-Submitted November 5, 2006
stoneman
Heterosexual
Male

I masterbate about everyday since we have been maried. Sometimes more than one time a day .Sex isnt as often as it usetobe,but I am happy when it comes. Most of the time we do our own thing, but sometimes we will have a party. I can not get her to eat my cum. I will eat her out after we are done. I give her some cum, by kissing and she dosen'tmind that.I think that is the best part.... ps. she will catch me jacking off once in a while and gets involved


-Submitted December 8, 2006
He prefers his hand to me
Undecided
Female

I have been with my partner for just over a year. Sex when we have it is good but not frequent enough probably 4 times a mth and even then he doesn't seem into it. Several times I have found sites on his computer. He eventually confessed that he masturbates regularly. He rarely touches me sexually tho he will hug and kiss me. I'm starting to feel unattractive and it's having a massive impact on my self esteem. I always get eyed up by other men, when I'm out which he loves he has told me he loves to show me off but still he hardly comes near. I do know I'm attractive to other men but to know my partner finds me sexually attractive is the one of the most important things to me. I've tried to split with him several times and he always begs me not to. He is attentive in every other way and that is good compensation but still not enough. I have an average sex drive but when I'm in the mood he pushes me away. We only have it when he wants to which seems so unfair. I love this man and couldn't imagine him not being in my life but it's getting increasingly harder to deal with the situation. I've wondered if he's gay or has someone else but to be honest I think the other woman is porn and his hand! Could someone please help by providing their perspective on the matter it would be so appreciated. I feel so embarrassed discussing with anyone as to the outside world we have the perfect relationship and many of my friends are jealous of this but not destructively so.


-Submitted December 12, 2006
Sparton
Bisexual

Hi, men masturbate it natural, I jerk off 3 times a week, my wife loves it, I jerk off when ever I need to even in a public bath room, sometimes guys watch and its a turn on, I have watch my sister in law masturbate in the bath,it was so hot she asked my wife if she could watch me jerk off, and she said yes, 3 weeks later i droped her off at home and she asked me to come inside, things got hot I sat on the kitchen counter and jerk off for her, then we had the best sex ever, i got home and my wife said, her sister just called and said it was the best sex she had in years, I love my wife so much, to allow that to have happend, and it turns her on.


-Submitted December 17, 2006
becky
Straight
Female

I was devastated when I found out my husband masturbated over porn. I really thought he'd be the last person to do it behind my back.I cant understand what men think abo9ut when they masturbate over pics or porn. Do they think of having sex witgh the women or doing other things to them? I once caught my husband masturbating over an actress in a rated m movie that we hired for night. He later went down to the lounge and masturbated while watching a certain scene. I would also like to know if men find masturbating as satisfying as sexual intercourse itself?


-Submitted December 20, 2006
Both is good
Celibate
Male

When I am in relationship with a women, I prefer intercourse with her at the same frequency as I am masturbating the periods when alone but I can't quit masturbating. I ask my girlfriend to masturbate me and I enjoy masturbating my girlfriend too. Moving the cock embedded in a vagina is a very warm feeling, seeing your girlfriend climbing to orgasm is very exciting, shooting off in a vagina is a great feeling, rubbing and bathing your glans in the vagina filled with cum is perhaps the gratest sexual feeling a man can ever get from intercourse. But masturbating to orgasm and ejaculation is this other feeling you don't want to miss since ever you started stroking your cock. You chose yourself the tightness of your grip, you can stroke very impulsively, you can observe your bombed glans, you can manage your cock in many different ways like sqeezing, milking, stroking hard or loose changing the speed, from up to the base or from down to the head, with one hand or both hands, massaging the scrotum with one hand while stroking with the other, rolling your cock between the palms of your hands and when shooting off, you can give you a kick to your orgasm by using the cum as a lube and massage the head of the cock while he is extremely sensitive. Intercourse and masturbation leeds to the same result, orgasm and ejaculation, but in two different manner that are complementary.


-Submitted December 21, 2006
Still want a freaking answer
Heterosexual
Female

This has been going on for some time, and I accept the fact that masterbation is always going to be there, but the sneaking around to do it, doing it the morning after sex, and so on really pisses me off. My husband and I before we were married had a serious conversation about it, and I told him how I felt, and still it's like he didn't hear a damn word. I don't want to pick up his damn klennex's around, and so on, and yet I still have to. I do feel I'm not good enough, and I know I am, when he does it the day after having sex for a week straight, what the hell is that all about. I'm so ahhh. And by the way, the whole, I love my wife, but I may think of other naked women when I do it quote earlier on this site is crap. To me that is still cheating. I don't think of other men, we masterbate, watch porn, get kind of freaky with each other, but I'd be very upset if he would be doing that. And yes now it's gotten me wondering if all men think of other women? I save that for him...ahhh..anyhoo, this was more of a vent then a question or comment. Thanks


-Submitted January 7, 2007
Gia
Heterosexual
Female

My husband masturbates frequently to PORN and frequents a video store to watch and masturbate to the loops of porn. He has cut me off from sex, romance and passion because he uses all of his sexual energy masturbating to other women I am an educated and attractive woman in graduate school and raising our children. I have asked my husband to please stop this behavior. It is for dogs. He has agreed and has lied. This hurt me so much that I started attending support groups for women whose husbands engage in this perverse and unacceptable behavior. We all concluded that men masturbating to PORN is analogous to cheating So Men, what do you think that at least 95% of us women of the support group are now doing? As a result of how you perverted men treat us, we not have sex, romance and passion with real men. When I catch my husband masturbating to porn, I leave the house, work out at my neighborhood gym. Afterwards, I phone at least three men to date. One is usually avaiable. We then meet for dinner, movies and or dancing. They must be adult men and not married. When I have sex with these men, it is protected sex and no questions asked My husband ruined our marriage vows! He has destroyed our marriage. I will divorce him when our children are grown. At least for now, I am having great sex with other men. If my husband can have another double live so can I. He has not had sex with me in over 3 three years because he is busy masturbating to porn. I hate him for what he has done to our marriage. So men, think about what your wives are doing when you frrquent the porn stores, strip clubs. At least we are having sex with a real penis and not the computer. %


-Submitted January 9, 2007
Vanessa
Straight
Male

My ex-boyfriend was the nicest guy ever when I first met him. He'd surprise me with little gifts and his conversations were phenomenal. Everything was perfect except when we first started having sex. After trying the act about four times he had never orgasmed once. I thought it was very strange since I have had a couple of partners in the past and the sex between them was great and we both orgasmed. So the last time we ever had sex, he still didn't bust, so I asked him to masturbate. After masturbating for about 5-10mins he bust. I was soo disgusted by the entire act since I had never seen anyone do that before. But more disgusted and embrassed that his hand pleasured him more than I did. Mind you he was a 20-year old virgin when I met him. I guess men who keep their virginities for longer periods than the average male aren't only special but nothing will ever be as good as their right had. YUCK!!! Yes, some women are aroused by masturbation and others like myself end the relationship right there. Like I said in the beginning, my EX-boyfriend.

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-Submitted January 27, 2007
Michelle
Straight
Female

My husband and I have been together for over 1 1/2 years and everything seemed great until one day I found his 'washcloth' on the bedside table. I've never known a guy to do this before in a relationship, I've been in 3 previous live-in relationships. I confronted him about this and he said nothing. I told him how it made me feel, like I wasn't good enough for him to waste his time having sex with me, and he was obviously thinking of someone else when he did it cause I was there; if he only wanted me, wouldn't he wait to have sex with me the way I do for him. Our sex life is so- so. Not like I would like it to be. I'm very sexually active when I'm in a relationship. Sometimes we go two weeks before we have sex and then it's been as long as 7 weeks for us. To me this is unacceptable. And now to find out that he's masturbating just makes me that much more mad. I love my husband and I know he loves me, so why does he need to use his hand?


-Submitted January 29, 2007
Rich
Undecided
Male

I love to jack off, since i was... young. I started playing with myself a long time ago and haven't stopped. My first wife didn't understand an I think she thought I was nuts. She'd watch and hold my balls but she didn't like it. I jackoff every day at least once. I play with my balls usually in some way while jacking off. I put rubber o-rings around them , that makes them bounce around and feels gooood while I jackoff. I love girls feet and toes especially with toenail polish on. I even polish mine so I can see them while I jackoff , they look very good and excites me as well. My wife now puts up with my stuff very well ,she gets mad when I go outside in the backyard to jackoff though. Awhile ago some girls in the next yard saw me jacking off and told her , she didn't like that. They did'nt care but wanted her to know they saw me. I didn,t know they were there though. I really love it.


-Submitted February 3, 2007
ackjae0 jack
In-Between
Male

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-Submitted February 6, 2007
mutualmasterbation
Heterosexual
Female

I woke up one night and heard my fiance masterbating. At first I didn't know what to think, but the more I thought about it, the more it turned me on. Now I've been trying to get him to masterbate with me in addition to sex, it drives me crazy. But as soon as we almost gets to that point he stops and just starts to have regular sex. How can we get beyond this?

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-Submitted March 3, 2007
b
Heterosexual
Male

Last nite I really needed my wife to stroke me. She is the midst of the worst of menopause and her sex drive at this time is gone. Make no mistake tho, prior to terrible irritation of vaginal dryness, she was the hottest, wettest cock loving woman. As usual, after sitting by me, I stroked her thigh, and of course I was at full attention. I flashed it at her. Told her I could use her sweet touch. She had to go grocery shopping, ugh. I told her get a nice donut to slip over my cock. She was tired and achey, so I didn't push. I settled down, woke at 1:30 getting hard. I'll be honest, I was being pretty obvious trying to stir her. For about 45 minutes I stroked a bit, ran 1 finger up and down the base. I guess I finally fell asleep again, about 3 am. I woke again. So I grabbed it, it was still half swollen, It came right up. I knew by know even tho she was in and out of sleep she had to know what I was doing. My head felt so good, and I was as well as fumbling it gently. I'd stroke, ease, thumb the head, ease, stroke more. Taste a little pre-cum. I was losing control, I really didn't want to blow, but it was too late, I was beyond the point of no return. Cum oozed thru my fingers, I licked it off. This morning I told her I think I have an attractive cock, she agreed. I have a feeling I might get what I want tonite.


-Submitted March 4, 2007
Menopause
Heterosexual
Male

This sounds strange, but helping my wife with menopause symptoms has been extremely arousing, even though I'm not getting laid. I find myself having erections around her constantly. I'm masturbating more than normal, but it's good. I'm surprisingly content. A lot of guys turn to jerks when their wives endure this. I've enjoyed being included and having a better understanding. This is a part of their life, however unpleasant for them. We don't have to make it worse.


-Submitted March 6, 2007
It feels like cheating
Heterosexual
Female

I do understand that men need and like to masturbate and therefore I really don't want to restrict my boyfriend (soon husband), but it makes me feel terrible when I wake up in the middle of night and find him masturbating to a porn. He even admitted that he thinks of the women in the porn! I know they are not real, but it feels like cheating! I don't mind the masturbation (it even turns me on to watch him), I just don't like the idea that he has sex with other women. It makes me feel like I am not good enough for him and he needs also other women. It makes me feel not attractive to him (of course a fake looking porn chick is always going to look better than a regular woman). I tried to talk to him , but he refuses to talk about it. I would like to find some kind of a solution that would be ok for both of us, but it seems like it is impossible...After reading all the male comments what really pisses me off is that we women have to understand their selfish needs even though it hurts us!


-Submitted March 14, 2007
RollinThunder
Heterosexual
Male

My wife of twenty six years is still a knockout, still wears a size 5 and is very petite. Our relationships has grown from just straight sex to a much varied and very hot intimacy. About three years ago I was laid up with both legs broken in a construction accident and needless to say that put a damper on our adult play time. However, neither one of us being prudes we began to openly masturbate together. We had a full bottle of KY warming liquid and I would get a handfull and rub it all over my organ and my wife would do the same. Our eyes were riveted on the others hands as we masturbated. Now, you have to understand that my wife is slender, with small but firm breasts and long chestnut hued hair that reaches to her waist, and when she would begin to cum, she would whip her hear head from side to side until her hair covered her face and her breasts. I would usually be seconds behind her as I would blow a load of hot, thick semen. Many was the time she would lean over and capture the head of my organ in her mouth as I began to orgasm. Today, we pretty much stay nude around the house like we always have, but I am no longer bashful about having an incessant hard on, or jacking off on the sofa, the easy chair, at the dining room table. And she is equally non-bashfull about going solo. Case in point, the other night we had friends over that are nudists like we are, and while we were sitting around the pool, Collette began idly stroking her clit, then she spread her legs just wide enough to slide two fingers up and down her labia, by this time I was rock hard and the two friends that were there began to loosen up and their hands were getting busy as well. Long story short, all four of us masturbated to multiple orgasms that evening and we made a promise that we would do it all AGAIN very soon...I hear Collette moaning now. so think I will shut this computer off and go watch her f____ herself silly with a dildo I bought her yesterday.

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-Submitted March 29, 2007
No Excuse Masturbation in Marriage
Heterosexual
Female

This is the most ridiculous editorial I've ever read! Saying men just NEED masturbation just like they need sex is such an unwarrented excuse. Masturbation is more of an addiction and editorials like #1 on this page, just make it possible for men to continue their self- absorbed cycle. If you are a man married to a loving wife who loves having sex with you? Why would you want/need to masturbate? A woman should be enough... don't you find it degrading to be turned on by your own hand touching yourself rather than your wife? Isn't that embarassing? Can you come up with no better excuse as to why you're addicted to yourself?! I would not put up with my husband masturbating, especially if he told me he was thinking about other naked woman while he did it. If he's going to masturbate at all, he should ONLY be thinking of me... otherwise, what is our marriage made of? What foundation does it have to stand on if I'm not good enough? I should be all he needs, and I'm glad I am. I'm so thankful my husband isn't a sick-o that needs porn and/or thoughts of other women to get off, when I'm readily available. Women, don't take this crap!!! Their is no excuse for masturbation when you are right there, ready to make love. If a man needs to masturbate or look at/think of other naked women, to satisfy his sexual desires, he obviously doesn't need you and you obviously aren't ENOUGH for him. That doesn't mean you aren't GOOD enough for him, he just needs more. The truth is, he SHOULD'NT need more. It is inexcusable! Women, we will not tolerate this behaviour, this foul treatment. We are worth more than the centerfolds make us out to be. We deserve love and respect in the bedroom as well as all other aspects of life. If a man tells you he needs to masturbate, just like he needs to have sex with you, he's making excuses to have what he thinks to be as, the best of both worlds. I'm sorry, but life just doesn't work that way.


-Submitted April 8, 2007
Mutual joy
Bisexual
Female

I love sex, but was always quite shy. I have been in this relationship for 20 years. My lover started to ask me to masturbate for him a long time ago. I have been masturbating since I was about 10 but always in private, though my mother caught me more than once. The first time I did it for him I was riding him, and my hands went to my breasts - I am large in that department DD - and always like to have them swinging and being played with. It was a natural progression down to my mound and clit. The first time I had ever orgasm with a cock inside me. Mind blowing! It was not the last.

We both love music and had returned from a modern dance concert all dressed up. He put on some similar music and started to dance to it, not stripping but his clothes came off until he was only wearing a thong. I was sat on the floor and almost did not realize that one hand was up my skirt and the other in my bra. I alternated between looking at his eyes then to the bulge. And took my time as his powerful hands just slowly stroked. I am giving myself a good time now just thinking about it.We both went into our space but together. Afterwards we agreed that after a while the other was not there. One of the most erotic episodes of my life. I could not stop coming.

Now we masturbate for one another quite often. Some times to turn one another on. We both love to watch and be watched. Also if there is the situation where one is horny and the other too tired - seems to happen quite a lot now that we are both of retirement age. In fact we turn the other on by playing with ourselves so often end up going all the way as we used to say.

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-Submitted May 3, 2007
frustrated
Straight
Male

I mastrubate and look at porn my wife knows this and has no problem because she does not want sex most of the time I take my marrage vows seriously and refuse to get into an affare with another woman however I have a high sex drive and need sex at least once a day or more. My wife will strip for me and I mastrubate in front of her afterwards we hug and kiss and fall asleep in each others arms and feel just as close as if we had had actual physical sex with each other. I guess I am blessed with a wife who does not judge me for who I am or try to change me I love her very much and I don't need valentines day to show her I show her and tell her constantly. So women my suggestion is this STOP trying to change your mate just love him for who he is!!!!!!!


-Submitted May 27, 2007
BettyBoop
Heterosexual
Female

I take offense at the sexist notion that only men must masturbate or have a strong sex drive. I'm a woman and I masturbate too, and I have a strong sex drive. I usually have 2-3 orgasms a day through masturbation. I've been happily married for 26 years, and my husband and I have a fulfilling sex life. Sometimes we masturbate together.

Women who find their husband's masturbation annoying, should participate with him. It's fun and fulfilling, and it can add some spice to a relationship.

The only time I believe masturbation is dangerous is when a spouse cuts his wife off of sex because of it or masturbates to porn. That I feel detracts from the marriage and closeness in the relationship. I think it can also lead to an affair.



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-Submitted June 8, 2007
Robert
Heterosexual
Male

Let's be realistic for a moment. Husbands masturbate because wives aren't providing the frequency and/or quality of sex. Wives could pick up the pace,so to speak, but that's not going to happen.So, men will continue to spank the monkey. Personally, my wife's sex life is limited to the Soap Operas (where the women are HOT and use sensual body language and speech to other women, and engage in foreplay with men). As for myself, my masturbation is really a way to maintain my sexual health while I'm in between girlfriends. Certainly it feels good at the very least, but I masturbate primarily to be ready for a new sexual partner.


-Submitted June 20, 2007
self fullfillment
Heterosexual
Male

I am a 48 y/o male married to the same partner for 10 years.

She can do without sex, not I. I need it at least 2-3 times per week. Since she is only willing 5 times per year, of course I take care of myself. She knows it and doesn't mind.

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-Submitted August 7, 2007
bud
Heterosexual
Male

I love to rub myself. Theres nothing better than rubbing your own thick rock hard cock. I love watching it squirt. Once in awhile just as I cum I'll squeeze the end, it pumps hard trying to release, my balls feel like they'll explode. I don't suppose thats real good, but it is an interesting feeling. Then when I release a big glop drops out. I love stoking it in front of my wife, and squirting on her. She looks great with cum all over her. Sometimes we'll masturbate together, that is awesome. Her pussy show more arousal under her own control, it opens like the grand canyon. Then I have her sit on face.


-Submitted October 2, 2007
Andrea
Straight
Female

When my husband and I first met we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We would have sex 3 times a day everyday, but of course that died down to once a day. now I am lucky if I get to have sex twice a week, I find myself wondering if I am going to get to have sex tonight. Last night we had a talk and he was telling me how sorry he was and that he realized that he wasn't having sex with me enough but he is just so tired and stressed which I do understand, he is working 2 jobs. What I don't understand is why he came home from work today, took a nap, and went and jacked off in the bathroom when he got up instead of trying to have sex with me. He knows I feel deprived of it already and them to hear him jacking off in the bathroom knowing that he is looking at a magazine and would rather do that than come to me really hurts. I don't know if it is the fact that he could have came to me or that I am jealous, because that made me want to fuck his brains out I was so horny and I cant get off by masturbation. On top of all that he thinks that I cant hear because of the vent and I dont know what he is doing in there.


-Submitted December 22, 2007
rb
Bisexual
Male

I'm 45 yrs. old married male that is circumsized and love to masturbate even without orgasm, but here lately I masturbate with my wife together and she loves for me to masturbate her slow without orgasm or sometimes many intense orgasms. I think every married couple should try this type of foreplay because you get to explore and enjoy each others body together and at most be honest in the marriage. I've always enjoyed nice slow masturbation sessions alone and now I NOT I'm now masturbating with my spouse of ten years.I sure she noes I love to masturbate but shes never send and thing about it because she loves for me to do this with her now.I CAN honestly say our marriage is closer then ever before because i'm open and honest about how I feel. Our lives are better now.


-Submitted October 2, 2007
Andrea
Straight
Female

When my husband and I first met we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. We would have sex 3 times a day everyday, but of course that died down to once a day. now I am lucky if I get to have sex twice a week, I find myself wondering if I am going to get to have sex tonight. Last night we had a talk and he was telling me how sorry he was and that he realized that he wasn't having sex with me enough but he is just so tired and stressed which I do understand, he is working 2 jobs. What I don't understand is why he came home from work today, took a nap, and went and jacked off in the bathroom when he got up instead of trying to have sex with me. He knows I feel deprived of it already and them to hear him jacking off in the bathroom knowing that he is looking at a magazine and would rather do that than come to me really hurts. I don't know if it is the fact that he could have came to me or that I am jealous, because that made me want to fuck his brains out I was so horny and I cant get off by masturbation. On top of all that he thinks that I cant hear because of the vent and I dont know what he is doing in there.


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