A Message from the Site Founder: I wanted to write a poem about
masturbation that I would be able to read out loud to my 11th grade English
class for our poetry assignment. Interestingly, it had to be 100% politically
correct yet still hold it's meaning. If it was not politically correct, I
would probably be sent to the principal's office. If it didn't hold it's
meaning, then the whole project would be pointless. Needless to say, the
unexpecting class and teacher was shocked. As everyone else wrote lame poems
about kittens, baseball games, and the like, I wrote the most concise and
profound poem in the class. Prior to this Internet publication, I did not
even use the word "masturbation" in the title. It was formerly called "Since
I was Twelve". I now use the poem as an entry page for the
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The thought makes my heart rate get higher and higher.
I would never put my hand there... you liar, you liar.
With all of the tension and fluids deep down within,
Rock hard, up, and bored, once again I begin.
Imagine all the sweet girls I wish I could bring home.
Imagine my friend on himself, alone on his own.
Fast cars, lots of money, and a long passionate kiss,
Skydiving, mountain climbing, and all the cool tricks.
What do I care if I should go blind?
I have to let out what's in my mind.
From my personal rhythm, the eruption I seek.
I feel like I'm laying in between satin sheets.
All over my body everything's getting tight.
The beat's getting violent like some kind of fight.
Spasmodic, erotic,
Coming to the crest of the hill.
I just cant quit, I don't have the will.
Approaching, Approaching,
The top! The Peak! There's no turning back!
The intense, the ultimate, the maximum climax!
Me on me and me on myself
Implosion !
E x p l o s i o n !!
....
Utopia
E u p h o r i a
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My Masturbation Poem
GENDER: Other
TITLE: Hands On Experience
Girls, girls, girls, girls My right hand I adore Spankin on my sheets till I can’t cum no more I’m on a five-a-day plan, then I’m switchin hands Not really carin where my sticky white lands I’m half-asleep, you calm me captain kleenex Cuz I be cummin on quilts until my dick wilts Then I’m in the shower, jergens and vaseline-a Right named palmer, left hand wristina Like the artifacts, I come on wit the cum on Might jerkin work, lookin up too many skirts I nut on puffs after I huff the dutch The ten pack pocket tissue comes in the clutch So put on the kristy-kenya video That’s four nuts a day, and one more to go Check check check check Dear sir, I have been an avid reader of your magazine for many years now But up until today I haven’t had an experience as really worthy of this column The solo jux avidly have to repeat I felt weak, felt like we were havin sex for a week I wanna spark the bottle, wack it but I don’t have a sheet So inevitably I pull out of the pocket Just for an example that I’m huggin up a plug wit no socket Now how soundly she slept while I fume Vexed about the fact I couldn’t nut off Pent up, balls blue, painful I know that when woke she’s disdainful Time to come up wit plan d for desparation Pulled out the love monkey and shot off to the titties’ location At least in that direction Upon further inspection, she awoke splashed in the head section Shook by the goblety goods Think-i-think I gotta *cut and scratched* Just beat it jerkin your jimmy but you still can’t come off I thought I had it in the palm of my hand Just give me the pussy and I’ll be straight If you don’t, _____ it I’ll masturbate All day I like to stroke it, then I poke it And be like ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, are you alive little man Got hands on experience cuz I jerk alot Exotic hand creams that’s what I got And a porno collection about the size of jada sulton When I purchase movies, it’s usually out in fulton Then I take it home and spank it, and wipe it with a napkin Yo I love to jerk like ? love to hack And maybe it’s a must like a kitty cat’s purr I’ve been known to _____ my girl than jerk off next to her Keep it real, yo yo bob stop stop jerkin and come do your lyrics I go solo wit my hand so you can call me han solo Slap my skins, so they call me bobby bongos Auto-matic, just for my peepee Hit a vital nerve, lick her tits, curve Jergens dry, no lotion for my hand motion Don’t cry, dry your eye Here’s a towel, my hands move like constipated bowels I shoot extra far if a girl talks foul Choke my chicken, slap my wanker A girl lets me watch her with her tits out while I’m spankin Then I’ll thank her, ah check it out I’m harder than the hardest artist hard can get Kbl in the place, workin a sweat Doin beats strokin off until the twinkie gush Until they amputate my hands I won’t sweat the puss Unless she wants to, then I’ll worry about gettin, the monster So I’d rather avoid the unwanted pregnancy The headaches of an emotional attachment I live my own fantasy world where anything goes Besides the longer I go without sex The closer bobbin my boloney comes to feelin like the real thing Think twice about walkin barefoot on my bedroom floor Yo mi, hit me up wit a magazine I’m goin to bed man, I’m out
Masturbate Like a Pro! |
MASTURBATION POEM
SEXUALITY: Virgin
GENDER: Female
TITLE: Ryua
-----Make-Up -----
-----Use your fingers
-----Hone your skill
-----The mirror
lingers
-----Go in for the kill
-----Lips are pinked
-----eyes a-shining
-----The black cloud's linked
-----to a wondrous silver lining
-----Hand
are washed and wetted
-----over and over again
-----'Tis aided and abetted
-----by a screen, the modern pen
-----Tips and hints are shared
-----but
that one is much too daring
-----"... im scared"
-----"what r u waering?"
-----The levels can vary
-----Wonder if it'll stop
-----when I find the One
and marry
-----Single, my body's a prop
-----The surest way and quickest
-----to obtain that glow
-----The glop that is thickest
-----is the best
way to go
-----It's quite easy to claim
-----that it's for oneself alone
-----that in it lies no shame
-----not just for use when lonely
-----Shut
the door, then stand
-----before the glass a-shining
-----Lift a practiced
hand
-----Light-fingered, begin lining
-----The application is bettered
-----when
preceded with moisture
-----Use fingers gentle yet unfettered
-----Reveal
the pearl from the oyster
-----That shy nun divested
-----of habit, certainly,
but of modesty?
-----Her purity is left still unmolested
-----Her plainness
is gone to beauty
-----Eyes are opened and then shut
-----Who does in the
mirror stand?
-----You didn't end up like a slut
-----Your strategy was
well-planned
-----Left then right, ensure even coverage
-----Is it a lady's
sweetest art of art
-----or is it gaudy and savage?
-----Such inquiries arrive
when thrills depart...
-----But when shine and pink and smile
-----do the
visage fiercely grace,
-----any silly guilt can wait a while:
-----for the
world, there is another face.
i stroke my cock it's pure delight its hard as a rock every single night
i go up and down, faster and faster of my own body i'm complete master
the climax is near its so near at hand my semen comes out i'm in wonderland
as the sensation dies, i slow down my hand it rests on my thigh and my life's again bland
Masturbate Like a Pro! |
I'M ON MY WAY HOME FROM A LONG DAY AT WORK, THAT TICKLE IN MY BELLY IS BEGINNING TO LURK.
THE TRAFFIC IS HEAVY THERE'S NO WHERE TO GO, I UNDO MY BLUE JEANS AND REMOVE THEM REAL SLOW.
I SEARCH IN MY GLOVE BOX AND FINALLY EMBRACE, THOSE FRILLY LITTLE PANTIES OF SATIN AND LACE.
AS I SLIDE THEM UP SLOWLY I SQUIRM LIKE A LASS, I FEEL THE LACE FABRIC YANKED HIGH UP MY ASS.
I HEAR MYSELF MOANING OUT LOUD FROM SHEER LUST, I PULL THE CAR OVER BECAUSE JACK-OFF I MUST.
I STOPPED ON THE SHOULDER AND PUT IT IN PARK, MY HARD COCK WAS RAGING I'M GLAD IT WAS DARK.
I STROKED MYSELF MADLY, WHILE I FINGERED MY HUNGRY ASS, I SHOUTED FILTHY OBSCENETIES, MY FACE PRESSED AGAINST WINDOW GLASS.
I SOON BEGAN TO FEEL IT, I ALMOST LOST CONTROL, AS THICK AND RICH HOT SEMEN SPURTED FROM MY POLE.
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I know that it is something that others would spite
I want for others to think that it's something alright
There's a question that has been bothering me all night
Why, for some, is masturbation such a fright?
Masturbation is nothing that will hurt you
It is clinically proven to reduce stress, too
No one will get hairy palms, go deaf or blind
Here's my advice - pay these silly myths no mind
Do not try to think that you should take the blame
For pious numb nuts who associate it with shame
Don not let what others say get you down
For you are only one of many people in your town
Who rightfully utilize the gift of self-pleasure
Up to which almost nothing else could measure
To all women and men, I say to continue 'disdainful' masturbation
For those who think it sinful deserve only painful incarceration
-Jürgen Schlëchter
(the next time someone looks down upon you for masturbating, just remember: they haven't yet learned how to live. see ya later, masturbators - and continue to rock on!)
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Lonely are the nights without you…
Sleeping in a bed that’s much too large for me, I crave you. I crave the sensuous touch of your masculine fingers deep inside of me The gentle stroking of the hair across my forehead and light kisses that lie upon my face. --And the lovemaking that turns violent…
Lonely are the nights without you
Losing myself in the innocence that I have lost, I begin to touch myself Slowly and softly I pretend your tongue has found its way to the most intimate part of my body; carefully licking the inside of my pussy Abandoned in an erotic dream, I start to shiver
Lonely are the nights without you
Breathing deeply, exhaling coercively; I need you Writhing with pleasure I drench my fingers with the saliva that was saved for your cock Imaginations turning wild, passion erupting I thrust my fingers into my saturated pussy Intense convulsions surge through my body as I finger-fuck myself Riotously I extort my tits, left hand in my sweet-drenched pussy, right hand twisting my hardened nipple Ruthless pain an aphrodisiac for sex… I start to cum
Lonely are the nights without you
Wet pussy, dry-mouth I open my eyes… It’s you? Is this a dream? No you whisper, handing me a glass of ice water Disarrayed, I look around Lonely are the nights without you?
No, baby you were never alone.
Let Me Tell You About Last Night
Last night, I almost exploded all over myself and keyboard with thoughts of your lips wrapped around me - I couldn't resist the urge, so I didn't I walked my aching hard-on hand-in-hand, into the bathroom with vivid images of your face your lips, your breasts, your juicy slit, and your ripe ass set him free of his elastic prison and proceeded to jerk him stroke him, grope him; touch him the way I'd love for your hands to touch him slow, savage; rough and rapacious engulfed my hanging balls filled with a month's worth of boiling hot cum that was already leaking from the tip of my dick oh baby - I wish you were there to see this, you would've smiled a nasty smile as you spread your lips and spanked your clit for me [oh my god, I'm getting hard again, I'll have to do something about that later] I knew the end was nigh, so I closed my eyes and imagined you taunting me, down on your knees, telling me to shoot that milkshake, baby c'mon, you can do it, I'm waiting for it I want to see it shoot... oh baby your balls are so full, so huge, oh my god I can feel your heartbeat through your balls oh baby, you're about to give it to me, aren't you? yeah, I can feel it, you're so close... I almost fainted: my entire convulsed and my dick roared with a moment of silence just before... C-U-M... loads and loads of constipated cum escaped with messy results I painted my wall, my toilet, even the mirror caught a few spurts I was exhausted, excited and wanted to cum some more so I kept on jerking - faster this time faster and faster and faster and faster until... Yes... I began to cum, again three more large spurts shot loose in long ropey strands hanging from the slit in my dick as I painstakingly stroked to watch them fall and splash upon the image that looked like your beautiful face - oh baby you made me cum so good last night
I pull it out, real slow, I begin to stroke, I need to blow.
I said I wouldn't do it again, But that's just an old refrain.
It's soft, and lovely, and warm, Surely stroking will do no harm.
With a slight rise, the pleasure begins, With pleasure like this, it can't be a sin.
I pull back the skin, and take a look, It's getting firmer, and has a slight crook.
Stroking more earnestly now, it feels so good, Such every day pleasure is better than food.
I stroke more earnestly now, it's firmer still, My mind is searching for some fantasy to fill.
Wet pussy, hard cock, rearing to go, Even females like to fuck, this I know.
Horny females like to look, fondle and suck, I love the feeling, but I need to fuck.
I continue beating and stroking, slow then fast, With stroking like this, it's sure not to last.
Thinking of hot females who want to fuck, Finding one now would be my luck.
She is one of a dozen who is horny and wet, What she needs is a man to get.
She wants him horny and hard, fucking hard, She will fuck him a lot till he's tired.
She can take it forever, hard and fast. She coos sweet words, hoping he'll last.
Her pussy is so wet and horny, she fucks like a slut, She is so excited she would take it up the butt.
Fuck that bastard cock, make it drive hard, Into a pussy slicker than lard.
Crouch over me, you fucker, fuck me forever, I'll take it, love it, refuse it never.
Pummel me, fuck me, talk dirty to me, Fuck me, fuck me, cum I must see.
Stroke me, in and out, with your hard dick, You have me so wet, so horny and slick.
Your prick I love, it gives me pleasure, Don't you know your cock is my treasure.
You'll fuck me in all places, all three, You'll fuck me as you wish, I am free.
I keep stroking myself, as I think about her, To realize she's just fantasy gives me a stir.
I'd rather have her, sitting on my cock, Then, only then, would I really rock.
I'll see her in a day or two, I'll tell her I've had a thought of you.
She'll say, why didn't you call, I'd come quickly, we'd have a ball.
She's horny, she's lovely, she's sweet, Certainly the pussy you'll ever meet.
I keep stroking and keep pursing my lips, I move and sway, and pump with my hips.
I'm almost there, I'll give you a clue, When the cum spurts, you'll know I'm through.
Ode to Masturbation
Prologue
The ancients believed (the myth may be true) that a god, all intent on creation, was wanking away like all of us do to a climax of cosmic dimension. Much later, friend Onan in biblical land, as a means of non-procreation, pulled out just in time and finished by hand, an example for our emulation.
Recitative
Saint Onan, your power is mighty indeed, extending from nation to nation. Regardless of color, profession or creed we yield to your sweet persuasion. The monk in his cell and the student alone are filled with the same inclination, mechanics and sailors and cops on their own, they all have the same inspiration,
when pendulous softness gone upright and hard stands throbbing in hot excitation and begs to be clutched with tender regard by a hand versed in such ministration. Soon pistons are beating in rhythmic accord and orbs are in brisk oscillation. The pumping is steady- -ah, look, the reward is presaged with pre-lubrication!
No words can describe what occurs at the end, so I call on your imagination to ponder the bliss when those feelings descend in pulsings of rapt jubilation.
Arioso
Saint Onan, you offer us pleasure and joy, The world needs your conciliation. So broadcast your message and help us destroy all weapons of annihilation. Make English and Irish and Arab and Jew without any undue oration lay down their arms and from you take the cue and indulge in some joint masturbation.
Aria Cantabile
A wonderful sight of wankers at work of buddies lined up in formation, Australian, Yankee, Italian, and Turk pursuing that sweet consummation. All hand-held bazookas are loaded but mute and stroked in timed agitation... .. until they release their liquid salute for world peace cum fraternization.
Relaxed, I lie upon the bed, My body straight, my legs outspread; My eyes towards the looking glass, I stick one finger up my arse. The other hand goes to my prick, And when it's straight and getting thick, I put some oil upon the crown And then I rub it up and down Gently, until it's getting thicker, And then I start to rub it quicker. When the juices start to come, I wipe them off with my left thumb, Which I then suck , oh, what a taste, A nectar sweet, too good to waste. Now I stand up and walk around, And then I lie upon the ground And rub my prick against the rug , How soft it is, how smooth, how snug. O, it's too much! I'm going to come , Once more my finger's in my bum! No, no , not yet, not quite so fast! I want this wank to last and last! I stand up and in the mirror glance And once more round the room I prance. I crouch, my prick between my heels , Bounce up and down , how good it feels! Oh, things are coming to a head; Throbbing, I lie upon the bed And throw my legs back o'er my hips, So my prick is right above my lips. My hand moves faster and my left thumb Goes deeper and deeper up my bum.. I'm coming now! The sperm is flung Into my mouth, right on my tongue! Oh how blissful , what a joy! Thank God I'm such a naughty boy!
I'm not a prude. I swear I'm not. Sometimes, when the nights get lonely I seem to forget. I peel the skimpy clothes from my body. I'm so hot. I imagine him here next to me, his fingers roaming across my body. I want it, yes. I slide my wet fingers between my thighs, circular motions will get me that high. I need to feel it, that niceness in my stomach. I seek out that spot that'll make me scream. Oh my god. This must be a dream. It feels so good. good. good. So close. I scream as I release. The wetness across my fingers. Yes.
There once was a fellow named Rick Who liked to play with his dick He failed to point south And shot in his mouth Now his mom wonders why he got sick
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