Spectrum of Sexuality and the Kinsey Scale

This editorial explains the basics of the Kinsey Scale, explores why we have to use sexuality labels in some cases but shouldn't use labels in others, and explores possible causation of sexual preference.

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0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual
1- Predominately heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2- Predominately heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4- Predominately homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5- Predominately homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6- Exclusively homosexual

In the formal sciences, it is necessary to have some type of classification system to study behaviors of different sexual groups. The Kinsey Scale was an excellent pioneer attempt to accomplish this objective. But informally speaking, the way things currently look in our society, human sexuality is not just the three simple categories of Straight, Gay, and Bisexual any longer. In reality, everyone has their own unique orientation and preference. Rather than a straight-bi-gay trichotomy*, it's more like a "spectrum of fingerprints". The scale above was used to classify individuals for sexuality research by the Kinsey Institute, but when it comes to realistically classifying ourselves on this scale, even a wide range like this may seem a bit too strict, rigid, and outdated. Yet it seems to be the most widely accepted sexuality classification system we have to date. As we can see through looking at world history, human sexuality is very complex and everchanging based on the particular views of the society in which we live. Contrary to popular belief, it's interesting to see that we've outgrown the 20th century sexuality classification system in the modern Western World. The straight-bi-gay trichotomy and the surrounding stereotypes are not very reliable.

It is also interesting to note that the above formal scale truly only applies to the pieces of 20th century society (usually North American) which Kinsey was able to study. Some ancient civilizations had no conception that homosexuality and heterosexuality were opposites in the same way that we do (or did). What we call "homosexuality" was so common in other civilizations that they saw every mortal human as capable of both homo and hetero sex. So, can we call the ancient people bisexuals? No. The term "bisexuality" is only the term for a midpoint in our own current sexuality spectrum. Even today, there are other cultures in the world have a whole different way of looking at sexuality and men's relationships with women. They also have entirely different views regarding the roles of men versus women.

Sexuality definitions have changed even in our own country over the years. The term "bisexual" was completely unheard of until a few decades ago. There were only definitions for the two opposites -- "homosexual" and "heterosexual". There was a time when homosexuality was considered mentally ill or criminal. In fact, at one time, anything less than pure heterosexual-penis-vagina intercourse was considered perverted. It was assumed that any manual stimulation between partners, masturbation, anal sex (sodomy), oral sex, general homosexuality, etc. all existed at the same perverted level, equal and opposite from heterosexual intercourse. It seems that when we examine the history of sexuality, even in the relatively young Unites States civilization, it's definitely everchanging. The 21st century brings an ever-newer outlook on sexuality with the use of the Internet and other global media devices. Todays outlook on sexuality make the categorical Kinsey scale look just about obsolete. The Transgendered and Intersexed populations don't fit anywhere on the scale.

To me (and others), the term 'bisexual' implies someone who would sleep with either gender at just about any time. In other words, a rather 'slutty' individual. 'Bisexual' seems to have become a modern term to describe how often, in conjunction with how diverse an individuals sex life is. Upon writing Confidential Biography, I discovered something about sexuality labels. Labels, in general, are only a human's way of categorizing things that are too complex for the mind to see all at once. We've attempted to boil sexuality down to three little labels of Gay, Bi, and Straight but it's just not that simple anymore. In the past, these labels may have been adequate but views of sexuality have surely changed once again. To describe me, the term 'Straight' doesn't seem to apply because of my experiences. The term 'Bisexual' does not really mean what it's supposed to mean. And the term 'Gay' carries the connotation to describe a strange, feminine, or gutless male regardless of his actual sexual preference. I don't fit into any of the above and neither do many others. In fact, the majority of us do not fit into them. I think it's important to illustrate how our informal classification system of sexuality labels is almost entirely worthless at this point in time.

To use terms like 'Gay', 'Bi', or 'Straight' to describe a person completely underestimates not only an individual's sexual capacity for fantasy and experiences but also underestimates an individual's capacity to be something above their sexuality category. In other words, a gay carpenter or a gay lawyer can be accurately described as a carpenter or lawyer more than they can be described as 'gay'.  In most cases, even stereotypically speaking, they will almost undoubtedly hold to the stereotypes of being a carpenter or a lawyer long before they would meet the stereotypical qualifications for being gay. Yet, we as a society, would be more shocked to find out either of these two men is a homosexual. Unfortunately, it is a very juicy detail! Therefore, many people would call them: "Tom, the gay lawyer" or "Jack, the gay carpenter" or even more simplistically say -- "You know, the gay guy that works over there?"

Problems arise when peers attempt to classify each other as pre-teens and adolescents. Some males go through the equivalent of sexual harassment as other teens try to seek out and label people who seem 'gayer' than themselves.  It's like nobody wants to be the 'gayest' so who's called 'gay' eventually gets displaced from person to person. Sometimes, the guys all the way down the bottom of the spectrum end up having no choice in the matter of their own sexual preference in the future. They've been rejected by mostly all heterosexual peers and can not identify with their own gender. These males are forced to identify with either female oriented activity and/or seek out males with similar queer or feminine characteristics in the future. Ultimately, sex with another male will be the quintessential form of gender acceptance and assimilation to 'maleness'.

At first glance, I thought I had come up with the cause and cure of homosexuality when I examined my theory as stated above. I also thought that everything stated would also be true for the inverse -- the cause of heterosexuality. In other words, those who were well accepted, masculine, and had male characteristics would easily identify with the male gender and ultimately become heterosexual (same for females identifying with the female gender). Unfortunately, trying to prove such a theory as statistically significant would be difficult. There can be so many more factors in what goes into an entire human being's sexual preference. Suppose for example, a male who had enjoyable sexual experiences with another male when very young ended up entirely gay as an adult. He may have been accepted by other guys and had masculine characteristics yet his mind became quite homosexual at an early age. Many other sexuality scenarios can arise but I think there is still great worth in my theory mentioned here. For the most part, by general observation and interviewing people who call themselves gay, it seems to hold true for the majority of the cases.

An even better approach seems to be to study the inverse -- the cause of heterosexuality. In other words, something has to 'cause' a person to become heterosexual. One possibility is this: Heterosexuality is caused by acceptance from one's gender and assimilation to that group. There may be some homosexuals who have had this acceptance and assimilation, but it's unlikely that there are very many heterosexuals who haven't had it. All of this seems to support the theory of a sexuality spectrum very nicely (or at least a newer style Kinsey Scale). We each need different levels of acceptance from our gender, we each have different levels of feminine and masculine characteristics, and we each meet fulfillment of sexuality development at different levels and different times in our lives. Therefore, a spectrum would exist rather than a trichotomy of conditions. If this is the case, we may be able to change sexual preference to some extent but an all out 'cure' for homosexuality would be out of the question. With these circumstances taken into account, it's hard to say that there really is any actual sickness to cure. Sexuality, in general, seems to be a combination of how we are innately (biologically) designed and society's influence on us as a youth.

Even the Kinsey Scale above seems a bit to restricting to describe something as complex as human sexuality. The inventors of the scale created it to classify people for scientific research. I'm sure it serves that purpose just fine if the same criteria are used on all people for evaluations. However, when it comes down to examining that scale, we as individuals can have difficulty identifying with the categories. For example, how 'incidental' is 'incidental homosexuality'? If you think about other guys 1 out of 10 times in fantasy, does that mean incidental? Or does 1 in 5 relationships qualify as incidental? It's quite difficult to to come up with a system of judgment to classify ourselves on the scale. However, the Kinsey Scale is important because it illustrates the fact that there is some sort of sexuality spectrum -- possibly even a continuum.
* trichotomy - division into three parts, elements, or classes. (Merriam-Webster on AOL).

SEXUALITY: Other
GENDER: Female
TITLE: My Sexuality? Opportunistic

Sexuality is extremely complex. Labels and stereotypes are obviously cliche and obselete. You can't describe people as bi, gay and straight. Most teens probably worry about their sexuality, because there is a lot of bad gay talk going around. However, as a female, I feel very comfortable admitting to lezzbianism. Don't get me wrong, i love men. But i really would describe my sexuality as opportunistic. If the opportunity presented itself, i don't think id turn it down. I'm comfortable with that. I think that this is far easier for girls to admit because of the lezzbian complex men and the media seem to have. Girls are encouraged by the males around that being bi and lezzbian is hott, attractive, and normal. I go through the usual interest in men, I am desperately in love with a guy. I just also accept that I'm not grossed out by lezzbian thoughts. The media needs to shut up about gay being weird, bad, or feminine. It's not. If girls can be feminine and lezzbian or bi, then guys can be masculine and gay. I know it sounds stupid and preachy, but we need to find a word other than "gay" for stupid or overly girly. So get used to us, we are comfortable swinging both ways. Maybe find that little lezzbian fantasy in yourself, who knows, god forbid you might like it...

SEXUALITY: Straight
GENDER:
TITLE: Spectrum...

Since I was a boy, I have been targeted by older males. I was used for oral sex until I was thirteen. I always was brought up to think of having a cock in my mouth was wrong. I felt guilty about it for a lot of years, and it messed with my mind. When I was thirteen, I acquired my first dildo and used it anally as I masturbated. My mom caught me and said I was gay. At eighteen, I lost my 'virginity' with a drunk woman. Sex was horrible, until I faced my own sexuality and needs. I experimented with make-up and women's undergarments. I continued to have sex exclusively with women; over the years, I have found that I crave to perform cunnilingus. It gets me the hardest erections. While dating, before I met my wife, my sexuality involved anally stimulating myself while satisfying my female partners. My nipples are extremely sensitive. When I met my wife, she understood that I have a feminine side. She was extremely giving while we were together, even using a strap-on to do me from behind. She was, and still is, the woman of my dreams, even though we are not living together anymore. Because I am comfortable with my sexuality, my life is easier. I believe that some are born straight, some are born gay, and others like myself have two spirits living inside of us.

SEXUALITY: Undecided
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Brinks

Great forum. Obedience to the reality of our common human experiencing of sexuality. Everything about life is complex and requires ongoing inquiry and discussion among us. Thanks to those persons who had the foresight and tenacity to present this website. I feel more encouraged and hopeful. I wish I knew how to contribute toward your efforts.

SEXUALITY: Undecided
GENDER: Male
TITLE: Rick

I'm unsure of what I truly am. I've had sex with both males and females and prefer "penetration" with females. I had thoughts that i'm probably bi, but many girls aren't accepting of this. In fact, all my ex girlfriends weren't aware of my attraction for males. When I masturbate, I think about both males and females but I noticed it's mostly about males. I enojoy oral sex with both sexes (giving and receiving). I've dated both sexes and realized things work out better and last longer with females. I never felt feelings for other guys. It's just the thing with girls thinkin it's a turn off that makes me wish i was completely str8...i can't help it though. I can't just change myself. What do you suggest?

Whats my sexuality?? Easy, NOT gay thats impossible considering I would never just want men and never have beautiful female again. Absolutely no way am I gay! Hetro, well not entirely so can't use that label. Metro? Nope not just into myself --boring!! Bisexual? well yes for the most part, but can't be 100% true either cause penetration by another man? No way in hell!! However other stuff is cool like mutual blow jobs. stroking with hands. So does this make me a virgin? Yes and No. My back side is 100% virgin NO MAN will ever!! Yet front side is no virgin via woman. so what could I be??? I must lean tolds in-between cause I am decided what i will and will not do. Here it is, I am a in-between Bisexual male (laughing). Make this story short, I am perfect like I am 3 times week wife 1 time wek guy friend thats based on avg. Cause wife and I have our over horniness and might get in 10 time in 7 days. WE ARE ALL DOUBLE BETTER THAN ANYONE CLAIMING ONE SIDE OR OTHER. Best of both worlds!!

for year i have been fighting my fellings, i am a very open minded male. i have been masturbating since i was 9 years old, and i am 49 years old now and have not stopped. i love the filling of this. when i was in school i had school buddys that we would get together and have jerk off clubs. i remember the first time i had oral sex it was great. i fill that males can make other male fill better with sex because we do what we know fill good. i got marrade at 23 to the first lady i had sex with we are still marrade at this time. the sex has never been the same as it is with another male. i like haveing sex with my wife but it is like i know i have to work at makeing her fill good. and with another male it come natural i know what we want a hard on and a orgasam. someone help me do i have normal feeling about sex with male. am i the only man in the world that would rather jack off and give someone a blow job over haveing sex with my wife

my buddy that i grew up with after all these years still have jack off and blow job sessions after all these years and it still great we are just older and it take a little longer. tell me am i the only male that fills this way.

A very complicated subject because I think sexuality is so diverse from individual to individual and simply can't be labled except for general discussion.

I'm in my late 40's and am Hetro and only see myself sharing my life with a woman. Unfortunately these 'lables' don't describe me accurately. In my teens I never experimented with other boys as many male and females do at that age. I just never had the oppurtunity. I remember the jokes about 'Homo's' etc. but I never really cared what other people did although I wondered why a guy would want to have sex with another guy when there were so many good looking women out there.

As I got older I became somewhat curious as to what the draw was all about. My ex wife admitted to me she had had sex with a college friend and I think this caused more curiosity.

About a year ago I had the oppurtunity to explore this curiosity with a guy I had a lot of trust in. The experience was very enlightening and even though at the beginning, I didn't think I would even be able to get aroused - it was more of an experiment than anything. I ended up having multiple orgasms and learned a lot about my sexuality that I didn't know was there. I'm sure that experience will be my last - it was mostly about me and my own sexuality. It was differnt but it surprised me of the things I did and how I felt about it. It was an eye opener for me.

I still consider myself Hetro for many reason other than the sex aspect. There's much more to it than the sex. Sometimes I feel embarrased about it, but in another way, I know that my sexuality is much more complex that I had thought.

I've been emotionally attracted exclusively to women (and proud) for the first 16 years of my life. I was ashamed of the fact I never had sex, and although the opportunity presented itself with other girls liked me, I wasn't attracted back, so I never engaged in sexual activity with them.

However, as a child, I can recall certain things, like holding my father's hand (until maybe age 6?), which was warm and strong, and felt comforting to hold. As a 6 year old, I kissed my best friend (male) on the lips because we were dared to on the busride home. At the age of 8 or 9 or so (I can't remember), my cousin asked me to show him my dick, and I did. It was small. Then, thinking this was all about bravery and had no idea about the sexual element whatsoever, I asked him to do it too. He was big and hard, not that I thought it mattered... Ashamed of my size, I asked him why he was so big, and he didn't give a clear answer... He kept it a secret ever since.

Now, back to my teenage...

Sick of being a virgin, I decided to get drunk with a girl (and a 2 guys) at the park, expecting me to at least kiss my first girl. When I did, I didn't get an erection, and was too drunk to care. However, this girl was a friend I've known for a while, and she had feelings for me, feelings I couldn't return. I cared for her wellbeing, as she was going through a troubled time, so I stuck by her, and although I didn't get further than second base with her that night, we continued for other days. On the fourth day or so, I was worried, I didn't get any significant erections, and this was a girl we're talking about, the sex I've been believing all my life to have been intensly attracted to.

In time, the erections started happening, but it took more drastic measures, such as actual foreplay, and then the erections came more naturally with less drastic action (kissing, holding hands), but at the same time, I began to doubt I was exclusively straight. The hidden same-sex curiousity element began to develop.

Also, since I didn't have romantic feelings for her and still did for another girl who did happen to like me (who I turned down, for this girl), I knew I had to kill off emotions for any other woman but mine, because that was what is right. In time, I completely screwed up my whole system of attraction for the sexes, and although I'm still with the same girl, it is rare that I ever feel what I once felt for attractive women anymore, and a whole lot more common for me to have a sexual bond with a member of the same sex!

Today, I acknowledge my capabilities of having sex with both sexes, even though I haven't had intercourse with women or had any genuine sexual contact with men, and I've begun to share this with my girl, however my situation is at a stalemate, because my girl still loves me, and I can only respond sexually (which is still good, but somewhat short-term) with her while my other side is being starved of experience completely... I could say that my craving for men isn't so bad that I'm feeling really bad, but it's sort of annoying when your desires are so bottled up that they subconsciously come out at home with members of your own family (not really erections, but my skin seems to react more when I touch them, ie, handshake)... I can't exactly admit to them my current state because they are self righteous christians, except maybe my brother... So far, my girl is the only one who knows, but although I'm not currently irritated, I know for a fact that I won't progress as a self-understood man unless more people know, whether or not I have to fight them for their irrationality or not.

I'm a 5 on the Kinsley scale. I guess it could be due to the lack of female contact outside the family as well as minimal or nonexistant luck in dating females...Well it seems to be much easier with the same sex for me.

I was a 0 on the scale in 1995, a 1 in 1996 and it slowly slipped up to a 5 later in the years.

Okay, I do understand the that we are suppose to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex. And if we aren't then we are typically Homosexual but what if you are attracted to both, but never slept with the same sex before, then are you not Heterosexual? I mean I love sex, I can have sex everyday. When it comes to sex I think like a man its all about the organsim. I have never had sex with a women before but there are so many things that I find very attractive about them, like thier breasts, and softness of the skin, their lips and eyes and the way the can touch you so sensual. But I love the feeling of pentatration and the rough, kinky sex with a muscular man. But, if I didn't know that or should I say told it was a sin then maybe 9 times out of 10 I would have sex with a girl or at least would like to know how it felt to be that close to a women. Does these feelings make someone bisexual or just curious.

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